How to do basic WHH for professionals, including a step by
step guide
Revision 1.0
STOP!
Read this Disclaimer of Responsibility Agreement now!
The material at
this website is intended for educational purposes only and
not intended to replace therapy by a qualified therapist.
Some of the methods you will be learning are state of the
art and still very experimental. Long term effects, if any,
have not been studied or researched. Thus, we cannot
guarantee that you or the people you work with will not
have some sort of adverse reaction that we did not
anticipate. It is highly recommended that you obtain
training or work with a therapist trained in the method of
Whole Hearted Healing described here before you begin using
the process under the supervision of an independent
qualified therapist or physician as legally appropriate. If
you are not willing to take full and complete
responsibility for what happens by using our material we
require that you not implement the process known as Whole
Hearted Healing. This is all common sense given the nature
of our material, but we want to make it perfectly explicit
up front.
1. You take complete responsibility for your own emotional
and/or physical well being both during and after using this
material.
2. You agree to not instruct others in the use of the
Institute techniques except with the prior written
agreement of the Institute.
3. You agree to hold harmless The Institute For The Study
of Peak States and anyone else involved with these
Institute techniques from any claims whatsoever including
but not limited to claims for negligence made by you or
anyone on your behalf.
4. You will use the techniques under the supervision of a
qualified therapist or physician as legally appropriate.
5. You will not use these techniques to try to solve a
problem where common sense would tell you that it is not
appropriate.
DO NOT CONTINUE UNLESS YOU AGREE TO THESE CONDITIONS. BY
CONTINUING YOU AGREE TO AND WILL BE BOUND BY THESE
CONDITIONS.
Dear Colleague:
The paper below was written quite a few years ago. Although fairly accurate, it is incomplete, so you might want to see the page on ‘Recent improvements on the basic WHH technique’. Our recent book The Basic Whole Hearted Healing Manual (third edition) is fully updated, and it includes material not on the website such as the Distant Personality Release technique. Click here to see the table of contents and go to the order page. Advanced WHH healing techniques exist which won’t be on this website, as they involve changes in consciousness.
One fascinating fact - I predicted in this paper in 1995 that blind people would have visual images of trauma, and Dr. Kenneth Ring has recently published a book called Mindsight in which he describes just such a finding. This is strikingly powerful evidence that the theory has validity, since it could be used to predict phenomena never before discovered.
I do NOT recommend that you use Whole-Hearted Healing (WHH) as your first therapy choice. Instead, I recommend using the energy therapies such as EFT (or the equivalents like BSFF, TFT, etc.) because they are usually less painful, often quicker, and involve the least amount of suffering. If they don't work, then move to other therapies - for example, you might consider seeing and EMDR therapist. However, if you've tried everything else without success first, then I would consider using our very powerful but often emotionally and physically difficult Whole-Hearted Healing technique. In essence, use fast and easy approaches first - if they don't work, then switch to the more difficult and painful techniques.
The WHH therapy is extremely powerful, and like other power therapies like TIR or EMDR can uncover extremely traumatic experiences. Some people may trigger overwhelmingly suicidal feelings, memories of abuse, and a host of other severe physical and emotional experiences. Common sense and our professional judgement says Whole-Hearted Healing (WHH) should only be used under the guidance of a licensed therapist trained in dealing with these types of issues.
A few of the difficulties that clients can get into with this technique are listed at the end of the section called 'The Basic Method'. Other problems are given in the basic WHH tutorial for laypeople in the section called "So you want to be a healer". This process is only recommended for therapists who have an extensive trauma background, especially in suicide and abuse treatment.
Grant McFetridge, ISPS
Basic
Whole-Hearted Healing Step by Step Guide
Revision 3.1
Grant McFetridge 2006
Step 1. Pick something
that’s bothering you in the present. Write it down,
and note how badly it makes you feel.
Step
2. Briefly focus
on feeling in your body the feeling this situation brings
up.
Step
3. Recall
incidents when you felt exactly like this (often the
situations are quite different). Choose the earliest one
that has a clear image. Jot down the memories you skipped
over. Use the ‘loving yourself’ technique to
help access memories if needed.
Step
4. Place your hand
on your chest to remind you to stay in your body in the
past.
Step
5. Move into your
body in the image, and merge your past and present self. If
this is difficult, try simultaneously: a) loving yourself,
b) white light c) relax diaphragm, throat, jaw d)
hyperventilate before or during e) cranial hold f)
diaphragm massage g) position at time of trauma h) rhythmic
wavelike motion. See text for details.
Step
6. Iterate on the
following steps, separately or all together. Continue until
only peace is left, or an earlier memory arises:
6a.
Recall the
phrase (belief, decision) you felt at that moment (2-6
words).
6b. Feel the body
sensations, including any physical pain.
6c. Feel the
emotion while staying in the your chest in the past. Stay
with this until the emotion ends. If another emotion
arises, stay with it until it ends too.
Step
7. If an earlier
memory image appeared, move to that moment and repeat step
6. Continue to earlier and earlier memories until no more
arise. Use the ‘loving yourself’ technique to
access earlier memories. The earliest memory always
involves damage to the body, and there may be several
damage memories in a series.
Step
8. Check your
work. The out of body image should be gone, with only an
in-body image. If you flash to the memory, there should be
no twinge of pain. Memories that you skipped over should no
longer have any feeling to them.
Return to the present. Your should no longer feel anything
at all about the current situation except peace, calm, and
lightness. If some new feeling about the situation has
arisen, repeat the entire process over and over until
nothing is left.
Special Situations
Emptiness:
Feel around your body looking for the origin of the
sensation of emptiness and lack. Move your awareness into
the emptiness, and or press on the spot, looking for an
image of when you were physically hurt in that location.
Holes:
If you see a bottomless black pit in your body that feels
like a deficient emptiness, move your attention into the
hole, and wait until an image arises of when you were
physically injured in that area. Is a more dramatic version
of ‘emptiness’ above.
"New"
Physical Pain:
Rarely, physical pain arises seemingly from nowhere while
healing. An earlier memory has surfaced only enough for the
pain to be felt. Use direct touch and loving yourself to
access the memory more clearly, then heal it.
Womb
Memories:
Every womb memory has a physical injury associated with it.
Stay with it until the pain is gone. The fetal self returns
to full brightness once severe injury is healed.
Birth
Memories:
Focus on the area of physical pain and injury that has come
up. Use the holding breath technique briefly if you are
resisting the panic (see text).
Copies:
If it feels like the feeling is in your body has the tone
of someone else (i.e.. mother, father, etc), recall what
you yourself felt at that moment to release the copy.
Later, go back and eliminate the desire to moving into
another's heart region to copy their emotional material.
Often a problem with adult healers, therapists, etc.
Self
Images and Identities:
Look for the feeling associated with them, and track them
back to the trauma source. Exaggerating any characteristic
physical pose or movements helps focus and recall.
Positive
Emotional Memories:
Positive emotions associated with a memory need to be
healed also, and usually conceal some painful emotional
content.
Depression:
Look for a phrase that you are trying not to think. After
the phrase is found and the depression vanishes, look for
any contributing traumas.
Past
Lives:
Heal in the same way as in this life. Don’t go into
judgment, or try and change the past (at least until you
don’t need to anymore). If you died in a past life,
stay with your body until all life is gone and you are at
peace. After healing the past life, heal the similar trauma
in this life that caused you to access the past life
trauma.
"Soul"
Stealing
If what appears to be a cloud of smoke, or images of people
leave your body while healing a trauma, note the triggering
feeling. Later, go back into birth and womb trauma and heal
the conviction that your survival depends on having the
triggering emotion surround you. See text on mental
illness, possession, channeling, and shamanism.
"Soul"
Loss:
Rarely, after healing a trauma a sensation of loss and lack
is left centered in the chest. Missing ‘soul’
piece will eventually return without intervention, but can
bring it back in minutes by singing out loud the piece of
music that first comes to mind. Will be a ‘pop’
sensation at return, and lack will vanish.
Internal
Archetypal Images:
If you feel a powerful archetypal or demigod image with
overwhelming impact inside yourself, (ex. the monster in
the basement, the goddess Diana, an Aztec god that rips out
hearts), search for the trauma, usually birth, that fits
the feeling of this projection and heal it.
Structures
in your body:
Occasionally, while healing you will suddenly
‘see’ or feel structures in your body, such as
rods connecting places together, or containers enclosing
areas. Stay in that moment in the past until they dissolve
also.
Chakras:
Chakra energy bouncing back from the skin boundary can
cause considerable pain. Look for the trigger that causes
the chakra to operate, something your mother did while you
were in
utero. (Resisted
crown chakra energy feels like pressure pushing down, with
each point of pressure having a trauma associated with it.)
Aliveness,
Wholeness, Sacred, No self:
You may move into these states after certain traumas are
healed. Look for trigger or cue to bring you back to these
states.
Medication:
A few psychologically active medications block this process
(ex. desipramine).
How to do Basic WHOLE HEARTED
HEALING™
for professionals
Revision 4 © Grant McFetridge 1999
Introduction
This paper is a review of a quick, simple, and
straightforward method for emotional healing that can be
done without outside assistance. This technique relies on
an understanding of how trauma and the out-of-body
experience are interrelated. This method is not affected by
energy therapy problems such as toxins, psychological
reversal, and cannot be undone, making it a useful addition
to a therapist’s ‘healing toolkit’.
I’ve also outlined some of the things not commonly
known or understood in our psyche that can come up when we
heal ourselves deeply, and some of the ways to work through
them. With practice, a typical problem takes about 30
minutes to heal. (More advanced and powerful techniques are
available, but are not explained in this paper.)
Basic Whole Hearted Healing is especially useful in evoking
and investigating spiritual and shamanic experiences.
I’ll briefly describe what I’ve found, and how
it neatly explains so many apparently unrelated spiritual,
physical, and psychological phenomena.
For a version of this paper written for non-professionals
which includes much more detail, and a second paper more
fully developing the underlying brain model
("Spiritual Emergency and the Triune
Brain"), return
to the main menu.
The
Basic Method
First of all, what do I mean by emotional healing? It turns
out that almost everyone’s feelings about current
situations in their lives are actually from past traumas.
I’ve found that when the relevant past is healed, the
person’s feelings about their current difficulty
simply vanish. A person who is actually in the present has
an underlying sense of calm, peace, and lightness even
while feeling difficult emotions. (This is in contrast to
feeling calm and heavy, which is when you are suppressing
and denying how you feel.) This means that the technique
works for ANYTHING that you don’t feel calm, peace
and light about. For example, a man with a painful and
terminal gut cancer didn’t feel calm and light with
his apparently reasonable fear of dying, and so proceeded
to heal it in one session.
The indented material below is what I typically say to a
person learning the whole hearted healing technique for the
first time:
"So, pick something that’s bugging you. Allow
yourself to feel how you feel about it as much as possible.
Then, allow your mind to drift into the past, as far back
in the past as you can, to a time when you had the SAME
feeling. Now, it probably won’t be the same
circumstances, the ONLY important thing is the same
feeling. I’ll emphasize again that it will almost
never be the same sort of situation that you are in right
now, rather the influence from the past is a connection of
feeling only."
"OK, got that image of some time in the past? Now, try and
go even further back, to a time when you FELT the same.
Keep doing this till you can’t go back any further.
Why? Because it turns out that we only have to heal the
earliest time, in general. Heal the first one, and the rest
go poof by themselves. If you can’t recall that far
back, no sweat - go as far back as you can, and as you heal
it, any earlier time will generally just pop into mind,
until you get to the first one that way. So, say you get
stuck, and can’t recall anything. Just go back, even
if it’s only last week, and start from there. Pull
off those traumas one at a time to work back into the past.
It’s just like in a cafeteria, with those plate
dispensers. You know, where you pull one from the top, and
the spring pushes the stack up. These traumas are just like
that - as you heal one, the one that’s earlier pops
into view. Jump to a plate in the middle, and you remove
all the plates above it. Occasionally, the structure is
more complicated, and your current problem comes from more
that one place, but the single stack of trauma’s with
an emotional theme is pretty common."
"At this point, I would recommend that you write down just
briefly what’s happening in the present that bugs
you, how bad you feel about it, and a quick description of
the memories you’ve recalled. Why? Because if we do
it right, this stuff will disappear out of your life, and
like many people I’ve worked with, you won’t be
able to believe you ever had a problem, and so you’ll
not continue healing because you think nothing happened!"
If you are interested in how traumas connect together (and
a different healing technique that is also very effective
called ‘Traumatic Incident Reduction’), I
recommend reading Beyond
Psychology by Dr. Frank
Gerbode, or Traumatic
Incident Reduction by Gerald
French and Chrys Harris. See also Dr. Stanislav
Grof’s work on the coex system (and birth trauma),
such as The
Adventure of Self Discovery. Incidentally,
both Dr. Gerbode, and Drs. Gay and Kathlyn Hendricks
(At the
Speed of Life) using quite
different techniques from mine have also concluded that
specific traumas are the root of our issues, rather than
some sort of soaking effect from a bad environment.
It turns out that we all share a critical ‘blind
spot’ around healing. This insight is not in any
literature that I know of. It’s so ordinary to us, we
don’t see its significance. This is the key insight
to understanding how traumatic memories are stored.
"So, now to the crux of how to heal. Take a look at those
traumatic memories. They’re like watching TV,
aren’t they? In other words, your viewpoint is
outside of your body, not out of your eyes (some people are
aware that it’s both). THIS IS THE PROBLEM. A part of
us has the ability to leave our body during painful times,
and naturally enough does. Unfortunately, the feelings we
had at that time stay with us and never go away! They just
lie around waiting until something in the present triggers
them again."
Thus, the mechanism for the storage of traumatic emotions
is the out of body experience, in the form of an image(s)
stored at the moment of trauma. In fact, as you go through
your day you can become aware that these images flash into
consciousness and out again so fast we typically
aren’t aware of them, but they guide our behavior.
This can be demonstrated by using GSR meters as feedback
devices to give us practice in noticing the phenomena.
Since our culture in general does not accept the existence
of the out of body experience, most therapies assume these
images are just distortions of past memories, and
don’t look any closer. However, people who do
recognize the existence of the out of body experience make
a different mistake. They assume its a rare occurrence,
when in actuality it’s happening all the time.
What’s rare about it is being aware of it in the
present, but we can easily be aware of it in the past by
scanning our painful memories. Occasionally, individuals
find it difficult to notice the out of body part of the
image. For them, I have them recall something really
traumatic in their life to demonstrate the principle.
This insight has stunning implications! For example, it
predicts that people who had their eyes closed, or even
people who are blind (assuming no brain damage) have a
‘visual’ image of the trauma, something that
conventional science would declare is impossible. This
could even be tested in a laboratory setting, using
blindfolded volunteers, with training in noticing the
images.
Now, how to use this insight in healing:
"To heal this memory, all you do is reverse what happened.
Instead of leaving your body, you go into it in the past
AND FEEL WHAT YOU DIDN’T WANT TO FEEL THE FIRST TIME.
So, how to do this? It turns out that there is only one
critically important place in our body that we must stay
in, in order to heal - that is in the center of the chest,
about midway between the nipples. The simplest way to
understand what I want you to do is to place and keep your
hand on your chest there, in the present. This gives you a
body sensation in the present to remind you of what it
feels like to be in your chest, while you’re in the
past. So, go back to that image in the past where you went
out of your body. You will notice that you can move your
viewpoint around at will. Now, move yourself back into your
body in the past, looking out of your eyes at what was
happening, feeling your body as it was, and ESPECIALLY
STAYING IN YOUR CHEST IN THE PAST."
The second critical insight to healing is realizing that an
individual ‘leaves their body’ from the center
of their chest. The ‘hand on chest’ technique
is a big help to about 2/3 of the people I see, drastically
increased people’s understanding of what I want them
to do. Getting people to stay in their bodies, and
specifically their chest in the past during trauma is, in
my opinion, what most successful healing modalities are
trying to accomplish - they just don’t know it!
It’s the ‘hidden co-variable’ of most
healing techniques, and I believe often explains why
sometimes a therapy works, and sometimes it doesn’t.
Body centered therapy which uses breath may be taking
advantage of an indirect method for returning to the body.
I’ve found that in severe trauma when it was very
difficult to bring oneself back in, by building up an
oxygen surplus then returning to the trauma it often
becomes very easy. I speculate this is relaxing a
concurrently activated core birth trauma involving oxygen
deprivation and injury to the solar plexus which first
initiated uncontrolled out of body activity. This
observation also suggests that using supplemental oxygen
would facilitate healing trauma.
"Now, allow yourself to feel what happened. Sometimes this
is much easier to say than to do, because we didn’t
want to feel it in the first place. Whatever you do,
don’t try and change the past. Not only doesn’t
this work, it causes you not to heal. Just accept what
happened. So, if you do this, a very interesting thing
happens. It’s just like you are draining a cup of
(emotional) liquid through a tube. With some practice, you
can actually feel the emotion flowing into your chest and
dissolving there, like your chest was some sort of drain.
Regardless of whether you feel that or not, as you stay
with the feeling, suddenly it just runs out and ends. Now,
one of 3 things happens then. You either 1) feel peaceful,
calm, and lightness; 2) another feeling that was hidden
under the last one comes up, and you just drain it away
too; 3) an earlier memory arises, and you skip to that one
to heal."
When I first started using this technique, I assumed that I
was simply erasing a complex memory. Now, I’ve
concluded that I’m actually in the past changing it
in ‘real time’, in a limited way. This has
tremendous implications in understanding how the past,
future, and present interact, but at this point I
haven’t thought of a way to test it in the lab.
The ‘draining’ mechanism is fascinating. It can
be drastically speeded up using several other techniques,
but I usually don’t teach them initially, as it
becomes too difficult to hold all the instructions at once.
Notice too that I do NOT recommend giving any sort of
positive affirmation or advice. From my perspective, doing
so interferes with the healing and the underlying purpose
of healing, which I discuss at the end of this paper.
However, dealing with the emotional part of trauma is not
enough. Two other factors are critical to successful
healing:
"There is another, important part to this. As you heal, pay
attention to your thoughts in the past. Each incident has
at least one short phrase associated with it, usually from
2 to 6 words (for example, "I’m stupid."). It’s
very important you catch and really be aware of the phrase
that’s been running your life ever since. It can be
true or false, specific or a generalization - but the
problem is that we take it and apply it to everything in
our lives indiscriminately ever afterwards.
Additionally, you have to feel how your body felt, i.e.
stomach tension, or the pain of an injury, etc. Like the
emotions, you have to feel this until it fades to nothing
also. I’m sort of glossing over this, but as you can
imagine it can be excruciatingly painful at times.
So, to review - put your hand on your chest, go into your
body in the past, feel the emotions until they are gone,
notice the phrase that you said to yourself at the time,
and feel the body sensations until they are gone too."
It turns out that usually each trauma has a whole
constellation of phrases that tie into the traumatic
feelings, but the one that occurred during the trauma
itself holds all the others in place. Getting the core
phrase eliminates all the associated material that is tied
into it. If you don’t bring the phrase into
consciousness, you find that the feeling cannot be
completely drained away. Especially in severe trauma, you
feel a sudden intensification of physical or emotional
symptoms when you get close to the exact phrase. For
example, while I was working on a severe injury at 11
months of age, when I thought "Can’t trust mom!",
I’d suddenly lose my breath. Later, the correct
phrase popped up, "Can’t trust women!", and the whole
trauma released. The phrase matches the body sensation, in
effect putting words to how our body feels. For a more in
depth discussion of what this means, it is described as the
‘felt sense’ in Eugene Gendlin’s
Focusing,
where methods to practice it are described.
A variety of healing techniques focus on a part of the
whole picture, but to completely heal trauma, the
contributions from every part of us (the mind, heart, and
body) must be addressed. It appears to me that storage of
traumatic material is an out of control survival mechanism
present in us and all other animal species.
"So, how do you know if you are done? The image should have
dissolved, so that you are just in your body in the past,
looking out of your eyes. The feelings from the incident
should be all gone, as if you were re-reading last
year’s stock pages from the newspaper. As a test, if
you try a quick peek at the memory, it won’t have any
little painful twinge. Come back to the present, and see if
whatever was bothering you (how this all started) now is at
peace. If it isn’t, either the trauma you’ve
worked on isn’t finished, or there is another earlier
memory that needs healing. The earliest memory always
involves physical damage or injury to the body. Stick with
the healing process until you are completely at peace in
the present."
"Finally, a natural question that comes up is what to do if
you get interrupted, or just can’t finish for some
other reason, or flat out can’t take the pain
anymore. Good news! Remember the analogy that I started
with, about draining a cup of emotional liquid? This is
actually pretty accurate, and so if you do some healing on
a trauma, that leaves just that much less feeling you have
to feel later. Nor will the amount of emotional pain fill
back up while you wait so that you’re back to where
you started from. However, if you do take a break, be sure
to make a written note so that you can remember to go back
and finish it off later."
What are the potential drawbacks to this healing technique?
First, it’s intrinsically painful. Second, the
emotional and physical pain that can come up from
remembering your past is usually worse than the pain you
start the process with. So if you don’t finish
healing a trauma, for a while you may end up feeling worse
than when you started. Third, on very rare occasions a
physical or emotional pain may appear as if from nowhere,
as an earlier trauma ‘beneath’ the one
you’re working comes partially to consciousness.
Completely healing the trauma you’re on, and using
other techniques such as ‘loving yourself’
(below) will generally bring the trauma to clarity, but not
always. Fortunately in any case the pain fades just as it
did originally. Therapists trained in advanced whole
hearted healing techniques can assist in healing these
sorts of trauma by merging with the client and healing them
directly. However, those techniques are beyond the scope of
this paper.
We’ve found that the source of any particular issue
always leads down to physical injury, and can often lead to
earlier and earlier physical injuries. Be sure to persevere
to the real origin points.
Common
Initial Mistakes
The biggest mistake people make is not staying with it
until all the feelings are gone. This is a perfectly
natural reaction, because we’ve all had the
experience of recalling a painful memory, and it just
won’t go away, so we just try and forget it. (I
wished forgetting really worked, but unfortunately the
trauma just lies there like a land mine for later in our
life.) The key mistake people make is that they go out of
body again when they recall this stuff, just like the first
time, so of course it doesn’t go away. We just do the
same thing over again! I can’t repeat enough times,
YOU HAVE TO STAY IN YOUR CHEST IN THE PAST.
Another mistake happens when the person doesn’t stay
focused at the time of the image, and sort of wanders
around the moment that’s so painful. It’s a
sort of skipping in and out of the painful moment, or a
sort of unintentional blurring. This certainly prolongs the
pain, and probably for most people stops healing
altogether. A less common variation of this is to jump
around to a bunch of traumas, like channel surfing on TV,
but not stay with any of them for long enough to heal.
The other common mistake people make is to go into negative
judgment about what happened. You know, like "I
shouldn’t have done that", or "How could I have felt
that way", or... Going into a negative judgment just adds
to the problem. Instead, an attitude of acceptance (or
better yet, an attitude of self-love, as it has acceptance
in it) for yourself is what is necessary. One problem I
occasionally run into is people who try and think
understanding and forgiving thoughts from their perspective
now, rather than what they really thought then. The
opposite can be true too, as happens when you think only
condemning thoughts about someone, when what you actually
thought at the time may have been one of loss or grief.
Fortunately, just bringing the phrase to consciousness
along with releasing the emotion is enough to eliminate it
from your life, and there is no need to try and fix how you
felt, thought, or acted.
Another, although much less frequent mistake occurs when a
person tries to talk about the painful feelings
they’re having, a sort of classical therapy approach.
Unfortunately, many people use talking as a defense to
feeling, and so nothing will heal till they quit doing
this. These people need to stop intellectualizing while
working on old painful experiences until after they heal
them. Talking in general while healing is fine, as long as
it doesn’t become a block to feeling.
A really tricky way to NOT heal occurs when people try to
love themselves in the past by embracing their past selves
with love, sort of like a parent does with a child. The
mistake here is that you have to merge with yourself in the
past, become yourself, and not stay outside by giving hugs!
One person I worked with had the idea that she was trying
to contain her feelings in her chest when I told her to
stay in her chest - sort of like putting those painful
feelings in prison. When you go into the past, you need to
make sure you don’t go out of body, and the place you
go out of body from is your chest. However, you need to
feel your whole body in the past, because that’s
where the emotions are!
Speeding
the Healing
If you can feel real love for yourself while you’re
simultaneously feeling traumatic material, it will
radically speed the healing process. In severe trauma
I’ve also found that doing this brings people into
their bodies who can’t do it otherwise. Finally, it
will often help you to recall the traumatic memories you
need to heal. A few people can do this naturally, but for
the rest of us I recommend a technique found in
Learning to
Love Yourself by Dr. Gay
Hendricks. Recall something in your life that you can
recall really loving. I would suggest a doll, or pet,
rather than a significant other, because we want a pretty
straightforward feeling, not one mixed up with rejection,
punishment, etc., etc. One woman had a favorite aunt that
worked perfectly. Imagine this object is in front of you,
and bring up that feeling of love you had for it. Stay with
this until it’s nice and strong. OK, now, turn that
flow of love going outward back on yourself, like
redirecting a hose of water. Sit with this until
you’ve got it. So, go back to that trauma you were
stuck on, and love yourself in this way while
simultaneously feeling the difficult emotions. It can be a
bit like juggling if you’re not used to it, which is
why I don’t generally start by teaching this for the
first healing experience. A variation on this that
sometimes works is to recall a physical place where you
felt especially good, bring this feeling up in yourself,
and then go for the trauma.
A variety of other techniques exist, but I included the
loving yourself technique in this paper because of
it’s intuitive simplicity and effectiveness.
What
To Expect - ‘Copies’
Occasionally you will run into a certain type of trauma
where the Whole Hearted Healing technique will not drain
away the emotion no matter how long you work at it. This
occurs because the emotion is not actually your own, but
rather a ‘copy’ of someone else’s emotion
who was present during the trauma. You ‘copy’
by leaving your body and moving your viewpoint into the
other person’s chest. Although most people quit doing
this fairly early in life, a significant number of people,
especially in the healing professions, tend to continue
this practice unconsciously. Unfortunately, it does not
help the client and is harmful to the healer.
You get rid of a copy by becoming aware of what your own
body actually felt at the moment you copied. As you do, the
copied emotion dissolves, often with the sensation of it
spreading and fading away from your body. You can then heal
the trauma in the normal manner. For people who still copy
as adults, identify the trigger feeling that pushes you to
do it, and use Whole Hearted Healing to follow the feeling
back to its source, usually birth and womb trauma.
How do you know if you’re feeling a copy? Copied
emotions have a subtle identifying ‘tone’ to
them, as if the person were present in your own body where
the emotion is. This can be pretty hard to spot at times,
so if the healing is taking an unusually long time without
any progress, try the following trick: guess what someone
else would have felt in those circumstances, and gently try
that on in your own body. For example, if you’re
feeling sad when most people would have been angry in your
situation, try anger on for size. If you’ve copied,
this usually triggers a much stronger response as you throw
off the copy and become aware of your own feelings.
What
To Expect - Holes
Occasionally after healing a trauma, or by using some other
therapy, you are left with a distinct feeling of lack,
deficiency, and emptiness. What has happened is that you
have removed the defenses to feeling a ‘hole’.
Often, you will actually see it as a black, seemingly
bottomless cavity whose opening is flush with the surface
of your body. A rim of a somewhat different shade encircles
the perimeter. Every human body has a network of holes in
it. They are created during physical trauma to your body,
with the majority of large holes coming from birth.
Healing a hole you can see is done by putting
‘yourself’ into it, enduring the awful feeling
of lack, until the image of when the damage occurred comes
to awareness. You then go ahead and heal the trauma in the
usual manner. As you feel the physical pain, you can see
the hole becoming lighter and lighter as it fills in, with
the rim dissolving last. Believe me, when you see a hole,
the last thing you want to do is go near it, but this is
exactly what you must do, and immediately. I put off
healing the first hole I found, losing my ability to see it
in minutes. It took 5 years before I could find it again.
If you can’t see the hole, the feeling of lack
typically feels like it is coming from everywhere. Running
your hand around your body will help you to localize the
sensation to a specific spot. Then focus yourself as much
as possible into the lack, and see if the traumatic memory
of the injury surfaces. If nothing seems to be coming up,
try pressing your fingers into that area. This usually
triggers the out of body image into consciousness.
A tremendous amount of our behavior and feelings is driven
by a need to block our awareness of the holes. In fact, if
you scan your body, when you locate any strong feeling at a
specific location, you can be pretty confident that a hole
is located at that spot. We try and cover them and fill
them in all sorts of bizarre ways. For example, I found
myself literally addicted to a woman who reminded me
(totally without my awareness) of my mother. During a long
meditation, I felt my definition of myself as a person in
relationship with her dissolve. This was my primary defense
to this particular hole, one in the center of my chest. The
next thing that happened was that a body worker noticed
that my chest stuck out like the prow of a boat. This was
my final line of defense, as I unconsciously tried to
contract my body in that area, to give me physical
sensations to counteract the sense of lack and emptiness of
the hole.
I suspect that much of our resistance to healing certain
traumas is caused by trying to keep up our defenses to our
holes. At a very deep level, I think we usually prefer
feeling painful emotions to feeling the terrible emptiness
of the holes. For an interesting view on the phenomena of
holes, I refer you to the writings of A. H. Almaas,
in Diamond
Heart, Book 1. (However, I
disagree with a lot of his material.) I do recommend
Seawork:
Radical Tissue Transformation by Dr. Cory Sea
which gives another way to work with this phenomena.
What
To Expect - Womb Memories
Fetal memories are quite different from typical traumatic
memories. When you encounter one, you experience the womb
as bright, and yourself as being very large. The key thing
to know here is that womb traumas only remain because of
physical injury to your fetal body. So, even if you heal
the emotional component, don’t stop until you heal
the physical pain. In cases of severe injury before birth
the fetus appears darkened. Healing the injury causes the
fetus to brighten again. Often, you’ll experience the
emotional copying you did from your mom at that time, but
to really heal it you have to feel what YOU felt, both
emotionally and physically, with the phrase your brain
retained. It was a great surprise to me to discover that
the fetus is entirely self aware and also thinking
thoughts.
It’s in these womb memories that you’ll find
the key to using your chakras. As fetuses, we watch our
mother when she unconsciously uses them herself, and what
she did at that moment to trigger their use is what we do
to use our own. For example, my mom used her heart chakra
when she bent over a patient to help them, and it’s
that sensation of bending over with a caring feeling that
turns my own heart chakra on.
During my time in the womb, I stored many phrases in my
head, constantly repeating over and over.
‘Visually’, they resemble sort of a small,
wide, oval loop. If you turn your attention to them, and
love them, they expand, you hear them, and they dissolve.
This was one of the single most dramatic changes in my
life. It’s a bit hard to describe, but my thinking
process changed from a sort of jangle (which I’d had
my whole life, so I considered it normal) to a sort of
smooth flow. It was remarkably wonderful!
What
To Expect - Birth Trauma
About 15% of the people I work with go to birth trauma in
the first session. The birth trauma is actually composed of
many traumas focused in individual injuries all over the
body. When following a sequence of traumas to an origin at
birth, we go to completion only at the particular injury
site, not the entire birth experience.
The single most helpful thing to speed the healing along is
to really, really love yourself - to love yourself even
while you feel tremendous pain. I’ve also found it
can be helpful to physically assume the position you had
during that birth piece. However, there is another
technique that I’ve developed which I recommend using
only when the person is unable to face the experience
completely. It goes as follows: just exhaust all the air
out of your chest and belly. Compress your chest and
don’t breathe back in. In a little time you’ll
start to feel intense panic. This is often the feeling we
resist when healing birth material, and this trick allows
us to get in touch with it so we can heal it. This works on
most people because during birth most of us felt intense
panic from oxygen starvation, and from the anesthetics
dumped into our bodies. I found in my own birth experience
that my fetal self confused the experience of oxygen lack
with being drugged. You know you’ve healed that
particular birth injury when the panic you feel is
completely gone from the injury - it can be hard to believe
such a thing is possible, but it’s a wonderful check
on progress.
This trick can be used to bring up birth memories at will.
However, I DON’T recommend it in general unless
you’re willing to pay the potential consequences of
activated but unfinished trauma in your life. You might
have a major new emotional or physical problem suddenly
show up. Even if you are used to intense inner work, I do
not recommend this. Be warned! (Of course, this can also
flush up trauma like drowning, which needs to be dealt
with, but usually the intense experience of birth
overshadows everything else.) I recommend reading both Dr.
Stanislav Grof’s work on birth trauma and the coex
system, for example The
Adventure of Self Discovery, and Dr.
Arthur Janov’s later work on birth trauma, after he
concluded such a thing was possible, such as
Imprints
or
The New
Primal Scream.
What
To Expect - Past Lives
When following down a sequence of traumas, you might find
that you go so far as to end up in another lifetime! Or,
through other work, you may have gotten in touch with such
a past life trauma. You will recognize yourself, even
though you have a completely different body and
personality, and you will often recognize others you know
in this lifetime in that past traumatic situation. It turns
out that we heal them in exactly the same way as a trauma
in this lifetime. However, clients access past life
material to escape a similar sensation in this lifetime.
Once the pressure is handled from the past life, the trauma
in this lifetime needs to be healed.
About 1% or 2% of the people I’ve worked with find
themselves in a past life the first time we work together,
but with more healing work the other people start finding
this stuff. However, beware! I discovered that about 3% of
the people I work with the first time come up with fake
past life stuff, especially folks who are into new age
philosophy. It tends to be delusional, as in seeing Christ
on the cross, being in Atlantis, missing out in a group
ascension to heaven, etc. Why am I so sure it’s
delusional? Because they don’t heal when dealing with
this, but when I have them stay in their own lifetimes with
the feeling, they do heal, and they realize the past life
was a fake.
What To Expect - Generational Traumas
Especially while working with birth or womb trauma, or with
so called ‘genetic’ or inherited problems, you
will often find that the source of the problem is coming
from trauma that occurred in your past generations. Unlike
past lives where you can recognize yourself, you will be
aware that the individual being traumatized in the past is
not yourself. There is a sensation of seeing layers of
people with the same problem stretching back through time.
Notice that these traumas can occur after the next
generation is born, it is not passed along only in the
womb.
You can heal the source of the generational trauma by
following it back through the generations to it’s
source, and healing it there. However, this type of trauma
is actually brought into our body due to an unconscious
choice, and occurs because of injury to the solar plexus
region and usually the belly. This underlying mechanism
needs to be healed, else the tendency to pull in
generational traumas will continue.
The underlying mechanism is beyond the scope of this paper,
but involves the existence of the so called ‘false
self’ or ego/personality.
What
To Expect - Soul Pieces
While working on yourself, you might experience what looks
like a person or a dark cloud of smoke suddenly leave your
body. Or while helping someone else heal, you might leave
the session and continue to feel terrible, yet know that
you didn’t ‘copy" or have one of your own
traumas activated. Or you or a client is experiencing
‘possession’, channeling, or severe mental
illness. To understand what happened and what to do about
it, you need to have some shamanic background along with
more conventional experience.
As a hypothesis, assume for a minute that our traumatic
emotional material is stored in an invisible something that
surrounds our bodies. Shamans call this stuff
‘soul’. During a few certain traumas, the pain
is so bad that you actually eject the emotional memory of
what happened out of your body area, and it wanders around
loose. In the shamanic tradition, this is called soul loss.
If a shaman brings yours back to you, they call it soul
retrieval. If you’ve got somebody else’s, this
is called soul stealing. In Christian terms, these soul
pieces would probably be called entities or angels,
depending on the emotional tone of the trauma that formed
the piece. Visually, at one level of consciousness they
look like the people at the instant they were formed, and
at another they look like a little cloud of smoke from a
pipe. The only book I can recommend in this area is a great
one by Sandra Ingerman called Soul
Retrieval.
These soul pieces are the origin of the voices in the head
people experience in severe mental illness, or during
channeling. One of my teachers told me that holding on to
others’ soul pieces is the root cause for all serious
mental illness, and I suspect he may be right. The good
news is soul pieces don’t have us, we have them!
Contrary to what the movies and most healers say about
this, no matter how bad it is, even if it drives us crazy
or causes us to harm people, we’re hanging on to
them, they’re not hanging on to us. It turns out that
the reason is buried in the birth trauma, which is why
nobody knows it. During the horrible experience of birth,
our mothers felt a variety of feelings, good or bad. Our
bodies associate survival with the feeling of having
external emotions (our mother’s) surrounding us,
which is what soul pieces feel like. We literally believe
at an unconscious level that our survival depends on
surrounding ourselves with those feelings. Experiences in
the womb can also cause this, as one woman found out when
she healed the birth trauma piece, and found an even
earlier trauma that happened when her mom fell down the
stairs, landed on her very pregnant belly, and desperately
wanted her husband to help her.
So, what to do? If you’re channeling, you can track
back to the source trauma by feeling how you feel when you
call the soul piece up. If you’re like most of us,
you’re doing your damnedest not to hear any voices.
For you, look to your outer relationships. If you’re
physically attracted to a certain type of person who
usually feels a certain way (as I was to angry women), you
might suspect birth and womb trauma. Not only do we
surround ourselves with a soul piece of a certain feeling,
we add to the mess by finding people who tend to have that
feeling we think we need to survive. Healing this has the
added benefit of eliminating two problems at once!
To cover this topic requires a book, but I’ll finish
by mentioning something that might not occur to you to
heal. My mom had a bunch of positive feelings during birth
too, and when I broke the connection between survival and
these nice feelings, I felt myself throw off a whole bunch
of positive feeling soul pieces, which psychics in the new
age circuit often call ‘angels’. This sensation
was unexpected enough, but the big surprise was that the
noise in my head dropped dramatically, just as if someone
had turned off the background air conditioning in a
building, or turned down the tape hiss on a stereo. A
wonderful experience!
Incidentally, do I believe all this stuff about soul,
pieces, etc.? I’m a very practical sort, and this
hypothesis simply explains a whole bunch of stuff (which I
haven’t mentioned), as well as agreeing with
perceptual data. So I’ll use it until something
better comes along.
The
Triune Brain
Eventually, if not sooner, Whole Hearted Healing will bring
up issues and experiences that have to do with what’s
really going on inside ourselves, especially around self
images and inner acceptance. In my own healing, it
wasn’t until I could recall my womb and birth
memories that I could even understand why Whole Hearted
Healing really worked, let alone what these other
experiences were about. Below is a partial outline of how
the psyche is really made up.
We are actually composed of four separate biological
brains, each possessing their own sense of self. The
biology of this has been known since the 60’s, and
it’s called the Papez-MacLean Triune Brain Theory.
How this applies to our psyche is as follows:
The most difficult to understand biological brain
structure, and the last to evolve, is the prefrontal lobes
of the brain. We call it the ‘Buddha brain’
because clients often experience it as if it were a huge
massive statue of Buddha. This brain’s center of self
awareness is is actually a number of inches above the head.
Actions of this brain create what clients describe as
energy structures, connections, or shapes in the body that
they sometimes see when they heal certain traumas. The
literature generally lumps it in with the next brain
structure, the neocortex.
The outer layer of the brain, the neocortex, is the portion
that thinks in sequences of words. This is our cognitive
part, the mind, and ‘it’ perceives itself in
the head. When we get the phrase in Whole Hearted Healing,
we are healing that portion of our being. Among other
things, it is the part of us that can form judgments and do
abstractions like mathematics. This brain is almost always
who we think we are.
The next layer down in the brain, the limbic system, is our
emotional consciousness, and ‘it’ thinks in
sequences of emotions. It perceives itself in the chest,
probably because this is the area of it’s primary
biological responsibility. We often refer to this brain as
the ‘heart’. This portion of our being allows
us to feel connected to others, positively or negatively,
rather than experiencing people as if they were just
objects, like stones. By draining out the emotions when we
heal, we are dealing with this brain.
Using the hypothesis of ‘soul’ in shamanic
traditions, I conclude that the limbic brain also acts like
a sorting, recording, and playback unit on the
‘soul’ medium. During trauma, this medium is
fractured into a piece which is recorded on, as if it were
a cassette of the experience. Playing back these
‘recordings’ gives us the phenomenon of the
‘inner child’. When the recordings are not
ours, we get the phenomena of channeling, schizophrenia,
etc.
The final layer down is the body consciousness, composed of
the tissue at the base of our skulls, the spinal cord, and
probably other distributed systems in the body as well.
This portion of ourselves gives us a sense of time, and it
‘thinks’ in sequences of internal body
sensations. It experiences itself in the lower belly, since
this is its area of major biological function. This is the
brain that actually handles the movement of
‘soul’ pieces and the location of the out of
body experience, as well as more mundane things like our
sexuality. We communicate with this brain when we do
dowsing or muscle testing. This is the portion of ourselves
we heal when we feel the body sensations and injuries in
whole hearted healing.
In the womb, the four brains are fused (merged) together,
experiencing themselves as one organism. What finally put
me on the right track to understanding this was a memory I
recovered of a month or so before birth. My mom ate
something that was poisonous to my fetal body. While
dealing with this crisis, my mind broke from the fusion and
experienced itself as a separate self. Later, during the
birth trauma, all my brains split apart, and now there were
four separate senses of self. For humans and animals, this
splitting appears to be nearly universal. Incidentally, the
degree of fusion can vary from not being able to feel your
emotions or body sensations to complete unity.
During the birth process, we become sort of amnesiac and
lose this awareness of ourselves. As adults, each of our
parts pretends that no one else is present, partly due to
the tremendous level of trauma experienced around the split
process. And each brain tends to view the world
differently, depending on its function and subsequent
traumas. Often, the brains work at cross purposes, for
example when you find yourself sexually attracted to
someone you don’t like. And worse yet, at the deepest
level our resistances to internal fusion is projected into
our outer relationships, as well as in self images and
inner projections. These projections are a ‘best
fit’ to the underlying traumas that drive them, and
particularly for birth trauma have tremendous impact. When
you hit this sort of thing, healing the underlying trauma
causes the projection to dissolve. For example, during
healing I’ve had people experience their body as the
monster in the basement; the warrior goddess Diana; an
Aztec god who rips hearts out. These particular projections
had an overwhelming and mythic quality to them because to
the head and heart, the body consciousness feels like a
god, which makes sense from a biological perspective since
the body is primary.
Each brain also holds unconscious self images, again driven
by trauma. Some interesting ones I’ve come across;
the heart consciousness unconsciously pretending it was
Jesus on the cross, the body consciousness pretending it
was it’s father, the brain experiencing itself as a
crystal palace, an elaboration of the baby milk bottle. I
believe in virtually everyone the heart consciousness
primarily identifies itself as the mother, and the other
brains also retain that projection of the emotions. This is
why spotting mother copies can be so difficult. Finally, in
my own healing at a less deep level, I found I projected
out an ‘overlay’ of my dad on all men, and one
of my mom on all women. Experiencing this is quite vivid,
like some sort of video special effect. Again, all this is
driven by trauma that should be tracked down and healed
immediately.
Complete internal fusion is what we’re desperately
seeking for in our outer world. The good news is that you
can fuse at a moment’s notice. The bad news is that
almost no one does. It’s an internal decision, and
circumstances in your outside experience may cause you to
choose to fuse in spite of your past. For example, in
making love some people partially or fully fuse, giving
their partner an unconscious permission to do likewise.
This feels so awesome, we believe that there must be
something special about the person we never want to give
up!
The fusion process comes up in whole-hearted healing, as
you eliminate the traumas that reinforce the splits. When
you fuse all four brains, the best English word to describe
it is ‘Wholeness’. If you fuse just the head
and heart, you stop reading in past emotional trauma and
find yourself just in the present. This is called
‘Aliveness’ by Harville Hendrix in his
book Keeping the
Love You Find, and I suspect
American Indians call it ‘The Beauty Way’,
while Christians call it an ‘awareness of the
immanent divine’. Believe me, ordinary consciousness
is like going to hell in comparison to fusion states!
The brains can turn themselves off. However, you lose the
abilities that are primary to those shut down brains. For
example, turning off the body and emotional consciousness
results in samahdi, with its sense of peace, timelessness,
and lack of almost any need to breathe. (The other two
brains use a tremendous amount of oxygen.) Or shutting down
the mind and heart result in an experience of the
‘Pearl Beyond Price’ from Sufi tradition, with
its lack of body boundaries and fullness in the belly. I
wouldn’t be surprised if shutting down the emotional
consciousness can sometimes result in the phenomenon of
psychopaths, if done early enough under enough trauma.
Interestingly enough, at this point in my work with people,
I can monitor in someone else’s body how well the
four brains are allowing themselves to fuse. At least some
measure of fusion seems to be required to heal traumas, and
I suspect better methods to accomplish this will improve
the Whole Hearted Healing procedure. In fact, the
‘loving yourself’ process discussed earlier
also tends to help the fusion process along. I also have
some evidence that intentionally using your normal and
peripheral vision simultaneously causes a degree of fusion
between the mind and heart.
For further reading on the three brains I suggest looking
at Dr. Arthur Janov’s The Anatomy
of Mental Illness. However, his
work is flawed by a total rejection of any transpersonal
phenomena. For a complete biological discussion, see Dr.
Paul MacLean’s The Triune
Brain in Evolution: Role in Paleocerebral
Functions. I recommend
highly the books by Tom Brown Jr., in particular
Awakening
Spirits, which gives a
simple way to temporarily accomplish fusion and other
fundamental changes to the psyche. I came across these
authors after I’d worked out this material myself,
and it was a tremendous relief to know others had come to
the same understanding following very different routes!
Physical
Healing and the False Self
Healing certain traumas using Whole Hearted Healing or
other techniques sometimes eliminates physical problems,
because you release the unconscious efforts that are
continuously pushing you from health. However, more radical
physical healing is possible but requires a different
approach. Like many, I was skeptical of stories of
spontaneous or faith healing, until I met a healer who
could regularly heal terminal diseases and incurable
injuries like aids, cancer, or broken backs, typically in a
few minutes with no physical intervention.
The secret lies in our past. In the womb, we are actively
directing the growth process, not just running some DNA
program. Without going into the fascinating details, during
birth our body’s repair systems then go into a sort
of autopilot which we all consider normal. It is possible
to return to womb consciousness and
‘spontaneously’ heal ourselves. You can heal
someone else from this state by merging with the client,
making them feel safe enough to return to womb
consciousness too and heal. (One way merging can be learned
is by using brain biofeedback to synchronize brain waves.)
For more on this topic, see "Spiritual Emergency and the Triune
Brain".
Conclusion
When I started my healing, I was just trying to make my
life better by eliminating problems. I had no idea that the
ultimate goal of healing and other forms of inner work was
to return me to what I had already been in the womb! Being
whole and without a ‘false self’ is our true
heart’s desire.
I want to thank Sheelo Bohm of North San Juan, California,
a healer’s healer, my teacher, and friend who saved
my life when I was critically ill. And Ron Mied of Novato,
California, a brilliant healer whose insight is the basis
of this self help method, and who helped me through much of
my post birth healing.
© Grant McFetridge 1995, 1996, 1997, 1999
All rights reserved
Nevada City, California
Bibliography
A. H. Almaas, Diamond
Heart, Book 1, Diamond Books,
Berkeley CA, 1987.
Tom Brown Jr., Awakening
Spirits, Berkeley
Books, NY, 1994.
Dr. Eugene Gendlin, Focusing,
Bantam Books, NY, 1978.
Dr. Frank Gerbode, Beyond
Psychology, IRM Press, Palo
Alto CA, 1989.
Dr. Stanislav Grof, The
Adventure of Self Discovery.
Dr. Gay Hendricks, Learning to
Love Yourself, Prentice Hall
Press, 1982.
Drs. Gay and Kathlyn Hendricks, At the
Speed of Life, Bantam, NY,
1993.
Dr. Harville Hendrix, Keeping the
Love You Find, Pocket Books,
NY, 1992.
Sandra Ingerman, Soul
Retrieval, Harper, San
Francisco CA, 1991.
Dr. Arthur Janov, The Anatomy
of Mental Illness, Berkeley
Medallion, NY, 1971.
Dr. Arthur Janov, Imprints,
Coward-McCann, NY, 1983.
Dr. Arthur Janov, The New
Primal Scream, Enterprise
Publishing, Wilmington DE, 1991.
Dr. Paul MacLean, The Triune
Brain in Evolution: Role in Paleocerebral
Functions, Plenum
Publishing, 1990.
Dr. Cory Sea, Seawork:
Radical Tissue Transformation, Bright Home
Press, Alice Springs, Australia, 1996.

