I don't post here any often as there was nothing much interesting happening the last 2 years (basically being stuck on my journey). However, every once in a while, something interesting happens that I can share here.
So yesteray I did a session with another therapist trying to get over the frustration I was in. We used a new technique that is kind of a mix of parts therapy and an automatic regression technique.
1st part : the angry, frustrated GaÃ«tan, shrinked and dark, on the left
2nd part : the sad, lost GaÃ«tan, transparent blue, on the right
3nd part : the joyful, driven GaÃ«tan, bright & yellow, farther in front
There is a war going on between them, a big shock when they get closer. They shall merge eventually. The 3rd one is actually mean, and has great power. It sorts of destroys the other twoâ€™s power and enslave them. They get â€˜eatenâ€™ and enter his belly. Now he looks very powerful, victorious, and dominating. 1st & 2nd are inside, trying to still express themselves and reach a better merge, but it is hard and painful. Not really working.
4th : there is a 4th part that is very afraid of this thing, it does not want to join. But it has to, no chance to escape. It gets eaten and has the same place than 1st & 2nd. It looks purple.
It seems that they are (in order) the SP, heart, body and placenta brain.
5th : the new one is the judgmental that does not want to join and think this is bad. It gets absorbed too. Looks more dense darker blue. Probably the mind brain.
Now this thing looks more complete, like a big yellow ball with an evil eagle look, powerful and dominating, it is not giving up its personality or role. Inside, there is a tendency to go toward harmony. It looks like colorful balls dancing in the belly of the big yellow ball.
6th : Then, there is another part that also feels judgmental and does not want to join. Rather than being absorbed, it covers the big ball and merge through the skin. In a sense, it is less a slave, the merging is better. But there is no real harmony or unity.
Maybe the spine brain ?
7th : the sevenâ€™s part to join is the Â« Self Â». It seems to just be awareness. It looks like a big crystal, like a sword. It enters the big ball and pierce it. It is very painful. Then it spreads into many crystals, they enter each ball within the big ball, and add a nice, more aware, more positive quality.
The whole thing looks more Â« conscious Â» now
Maybe it is CoA material from the Creator? Or chakras? Or something else.
Now the ball looks like a hot air balloon with multi-faceted colorful balls inside. It is â€˜beautifulâ€™ but still I feel it is wrong, less than human, corrupted and incomplete.
8th : The 8th part to join is more like the Soul, it seems to be more Â« Me Â» and it very ethereal, no real form, though roughly spherical. It joins swiftly, gets absorbed, and participate but is quite muted. Transparent violet. Maybe another brain?
The whole ball gets thicker, like the membrane is more dense.
The last part to resist seems to be a deeper level of Â« Me Â». It seems really Me, in the most profound way. Getting dissociated from it is really hard. When it looks at the ball, it is horrified and swear never to become it. But it has no choice. It is shapeless, like gas maybe. When it joins, it transforms itself in a flame that exist in another plane of existence. So, it is merged, but not really merged, like pretending it is not existing at the same level so it doesnâ€™t matter. It feels pure.
Later on, the flame stop pretending it is on another, non-physical place, and tries to burn the whole ball and destroy it or rather, to purify it. Very painful. It doesnâ€™t work. It seems to go on back and forth for a while, then it fails and the flame finally accept to be embedded in the ball.
Now the ball looks completely multicolor, like a mix of many paints, in a multicolor space background, very psychedelic. There is a sense of awe, magic and power, importance, maybe sacredness. But at the same time, it is still corrupted, evil. It is complete, but it is not what it could be if all parts had been perfect to start from.
Then there is acceptance that this is what is is. Neither good or bad. Neutral. But not pure or perfect. The ball merges with me and my whole body becomes it. Stillness.
This process seems to work well to make one peaceful about a triggered situation but I am not sure it really heals the underlying issue. Still interesting to gain insights.