To get email notification of new content, change your preferences settings. Sign in first. Then click on the icon under your name called 'account options' and choose 'edit profile' in the dropdown menu. Now click on 'Notification preferences' in the new menu below your name. Under 'Category Notifications' click on the boxes under the Email heading as you desire.

Healing Indecision

Hi there,

I know that there is a state, the optimal life path state. But for a lot of people this is not accessible, and scecondly even if you have done the process , it requires a lot of work.

Are there non - peak state techniques to deciding between various options. For example to decide which the best outcome is?

In decision is a huge part of my experience, and i have struggled with it for most of my life.




  • I read on one of the peak State books, think about the option, and if there is an inner brightening of some sort, then it is the ideal pathway. Not sure how this might be affected by psychological factors, but that was the method.

  • edited April 2022

    Hey Apranihita!

    The Life Path Peak State Process is a great way to start with your optimal Life Path. 

    With the "requires a lot of work part" - it's all about making sure you heal the trauma. When you get the ability, it becomes much easier.

    On the other hand with the decision making - do you feel like you don't know what you want, or it's more like you're "in-between", so don't know which option is best?

    For me, The Column of Self process was a game-changer when it comes to decisions. Especially when you felt like this your whole life, looks like there could be an issue. 

    My personal experience: I was also struggling with the most basic stuff - like what do I like today? Coffee, water? It always took me time to decide what to wear, what to say, what to do. Not to mention being frustrated when it comes to thinking about ANY decision that I had to make. 

    You can ask a Therapists to check with you on symptoms :) 

    The Column of Self Process I've done:

    Therapists directory:

  • edited April 2022
    What you are talking about, is the Optimal Decision Making technique, that is taught in our full trauma therapist training or used byt therapists with a client in a session.

    But you only use it for some decisions there and there.
    If you have an issue with making simple decisions, or almost any decisions in your life, it's because there is probably a bigger issue underneath.

    Your sentence make me think it's a bigger issue: "In decision is a huge part of my experience, and i have struggled with it for most of my life."

    Long term issues about making decisions could be because of a damage to your Column of Self (as Krystian was describing), a mind brain split, generationals traumas, triune brains conflicts, or else.

    Mind brain split: it's like one part of your mind want that/decide something and the other one want/decide something else, so you can't never decide something.

    For something who has such a big impact on your life and for so many years, it's sometimes better to ask a therapist to help you diagnose what is it, and to tell you which solutions area available to heal it.

    Because we can go only go to a certain point when we are auto-diagnosing ourselves.
    We can fool ourselves, blank on some traumas, etc.
  • edited December 2023
    I believe I have experienced the Optimal Life Path state, or something very similar to it, when I was in college.  Decisions were much easier, planning and living the day was much easier, and life went well and above all, though I was tired, life was fulfilling. 
    About indecision...  This week while feeling great indecision, I did one "round" of Body Association Therapy on indecision (and boundaries, fear, confusion, stuckness, and everything related).  I think it works best when you do it when you are feeling the body sensations and(/or) the emotions.  It helped the situation I was in (faster, clearer, not stuck in fear of offending/ feeling like I had to yield, etc.) and it also helped with other situations and decisions after that. Not perfect, but definitely progress was made.  
    Is healing Column of Self = Loss of Role/ Identity? 
  • edited December 2023
    Hi, yes the Repair of the Column of Self process is also listed as being about a process to heal the Loss of Role/ Identity.
    But the process address much more issues in people than that alone.

    To be more precise on the impact of a damaged Column of Self (CoS) on making decisions, let's look at its biology:
    - Bubbles: having bubbles in our CoS makes us confused, vague, spaced out, lose focus. So can get tricky to make decisions if triggered.

    - Void: having a void (empty space in it) makes us take on identities and hold on to it. So if It take on an identity of being a teacher, I would then adopt a whole set of beliefs and behaviors around this role/identity. So that could impact my decisions making process, because it will be filtered through the lenses of this role. Especially because people often switch with different roles during the day/week depending on the situation, what they need to do. So if at work I'm in the teacher role, but at home I'm in the father role. Making decisions when you are switching between those roles can get tricky.

    - Cracks/splits: depending on which parts of the cracked column your awareness is in/interacting with, it will change how your perceive yourself and also your decision making process.

    - And some other issues in the CoS could also contribute to the issue on decision making. 

    About your experience, it looks like Being on Track (Flow?) state, where everything feels aligned and effortless.
    It's a great state to have for sure! :)

  • edited December 2023
    Ha ha, yes, it WAS a great state, especially in college.  However, it's been a while... 
    If the CoS is weak/ leaning instead of standing straight, would that influence decision-making? 
  • "If the CoS is weak/ leaning instead of standing straight, would that influence decision-making? "
    No, it should not.
  • Hi,
    Im revisiting this thread after soooooo long i know! I come back to the forum only once in a while.
    Thanks for ever bodies inputs.
    I actually had the columm of self repaired a number of years ago by a peakstates therapist.

    I've just re read my initial opening thread and tried to connect with what i was actually seeking at the time. On reflection i realise that i do have a particular subset of this issue that im going to explore; its the sensation of resistance to making a choice, especially when asked by a third party.

    For example if someone asks me "but what do you want to do today" or "but what do you really think about x y or z", i feel a freezing sensation. Like i dont want to commit to one particular outcome. Or there is a fear that if i answer honestly i will somehow lose control of the situation.

    Definatley something here to explore. (this is more a comment for my self, and maybe my future self when i revisit the forum)
  • Hello,
    That sounds like a simple biographical trauma. Tapping or WHH should work on it.
    Remember than 70% of issues we have are simple trauma.
Sign In or Register to comment.