Actual Cases Using Whole-Hearted Healing
This webpage gives a wide variety of actual cases, written by therapists and laypeople who are using Whole-Hearted Healing (WHH) for physical or emotional issues. For laypeople or interested therapists, these case studies give an actual feeling for what exactly happens during WHH therapy - and illustrates the very surprising ease that people have in recalling prenatal events by using the WHH therapy.
These cases are primarily designed as an educational resource for therapists who have taken our training, and so don’t always show successes - learning what not to do is sometimes as important as learning the optimum approaches. As time goes on, we plan on adding many more examples. In some of the cases several different therapies (such as EFT or TIR) were used in conjunction with the WHH therapy. We encourage this approach in our graduates, since different therapies differ in their effectiveness with different people or issues in the same person. In most of the cases given, other therapies were tried and then WHH was used. [Editor's note: Names and biographical data that could identify people have been deleted or changed to protect confidentiality (as appropriate).]
(Note, as of 2013 we now put new material on our Institute public forum.)
- A burning sensation in the chest leads to conception
- Pattern of self-punishment leads to a fallopian tube trauma
- A feeling of shame held in place with a generational trauma
- Feelings of jealousy and envy lead to conception
- Healing schizophrenia by healing split personality traumas
- Smoking addiction due to traumas and a copy
- Family conflict leads to an in utero trauma
- Back pain and fatigue lead to neural tube development in the fetus
- Several unrelated problems are labeled as depression
- Healing client’s birth trauma becomes straightforward after healing one’s own
- Chronic hoarseness and aching throat due to birth trauma
- Blocked ears due to birth trauma
- Infectious Mononucleosis due to birth trauma
- Abandonment issues lead to coalescence, conception and implantation traumas
- Finding marital problems in conception
- EFT on a nervous feeling leads to a ‘sac’ prenatal event
- Abandoned lover feelings from a sperm trauma
- First timer healing emotional issues around a back injury
- ‘Copies’ blocked healing with any techniques
- Spiritual emergency resolved with pre-birth regression
- The Inner Peace Process eliminated suicidal feelings; and fear of a night attack
- On healing grief
- On noticing when we are affected by a trauma
- Conception seen from the sperm side
- A chakra healing experience with unusual visuals
- Working with yoga to unearth traumas
- On falling asleep during regression
- Conception seen from egg's perspective - parents are projected on the egg and sperm
- A safer alternative to the no-breath technique
- Chronic hoarseness leads to a birth trauma
- More about DPR applied to couples' relationships
- Working through resistance to accessing trauma: Vulnerability and abuse episodes lead to conception
A burning sensation in the chest leads to conception
Hey gang. This is my first post in a long while.
WHH CONCEPTION EXPERIENCE
I started with a body sensation that I've worked with before, a “heart-burny” feeling in my chest and throat. This time I was working over the phone with a new friend/energy worker/healer, etc. She mostly held space as I regressed from the chest sensation to……… conception (!).
I was on sperm side moving to and then into the egg. Close to the egg, I felt afraid, and upon entering the egg, “she” closed the portal quickly. It felt like she bit off my tail in violence and anger. I shifted my awareness to the egg side and got that the egg was murderously angry, and biting off my tail was intentional and did not satisfy the anger. I moved back to sperm side and experienced the fear and sadness at losing my tail as far as I could. I “knew” that I would have to work the egg side next, though that would need to wait for a while. I did grieve the tail loss and then reached out with my “hand” and loved and touched the tail with the intention of loving its essence back to me. When that essence (sperm tail brain?) merged with me, my body shook with a pleasurable “chill.”
My friend and I cast into my mother’s “field” and I got that on the night of my conception, Dad was stressed, tired and did a “wham-bam-thank-you-ma-am”, rolled over and fell asleep. Mom felt unloved, betrayed, sad and angry. She knew that she was conceiving and that it was very wrong for this night to be less than a wonderful romantic occasion of lovemaking. The egg certainly got the message and bit my head off (or tail, a point of view thing, I guess).
Next session, I’ll work the egg side.
Pattern of self-punishment leads to a fallopian tube trauma
The client had the sense that she had a repeating pattern of punishing herself--she would get into emotionally painful situations which she suddenly realized she had done deliberately in order to punish herself. She regressed back on this feeling as she repeated the phrase/belief "I need to punish myself". She saw a whip and as she got clearer noticed it was a moment in time between conception and implantation when the being is just a little ball of cells. There was something attached to and part of the ball of cells that was loose and whipping the cells (sort of a self flagellation type effect) - in effect "punishing" them because it was not a pleasant sensation. Doing WHH, she got this to calm peace and light large and nearly bright and couldn't get the remainder to brighten up. I then asked her to see if she could get any sense of a "placenta side" to this ball of cells even though it was before implantation. She got a sense of a rush of blood and when she focused on being with what we took for the "placenta side" she was able to get the whole thing to heal entirely and brighten up all the way. And the woman's sense of needing to punish herself left.
Mary Pellicer MD
A feeling of shame held in place with a generational trauma
For a number of years, I've been trying to heal shame I've felt around initiating a divorce when I was in my twenties. Whenever I tried to work on the shame, I felt so ashamed I couldn't get inbody! Although I think I could have done it with the help of a facilitator, I never had one around when I could access the feeling.
The shame also caused me physical problems. When I'd feel it, even if it was outside of my awareness, the skin on my right hand would dry and crack off in flakes. The shame would cause my body to close off the gall bladder, and my stool color would become very light as the bile flow was blocked.
A couple of weeks ago, I healed the problem in a very tricky way. This method (below) would also work for a variety of feelings, not just shame.
I woke from sleep feeling the shame. While still in that twilight zone between sleeping and waking that I recommend for inner work (called the hypnagogic state), I was able to sense that the shame was my grandfather's. It had a feeling of his personality to it - something I'd never noticed when I was fully awake. I then experienced that he was deeply ashamed during the depression that he couldn't support his family on the farm up in Canada. I used just WHH by going inbody in his life, and healed it there. (Of course, I could have used TAT or whatever, but in the half asleep state WHH was easier). Note too that healing his shame was much easier than my own, as it didn't feel 'personal' in the same way, it just felt like shame and nothing that said anything about him as a person. (This lack of 'personal' pain is true for both healing generational as well as past life material.)
OK, so now I'll pause and review something from the basic WHH class. We've found that when a feeling or trauma feels 'personal', it is because of generational traumas (not past lives) from our ancestors and relatives.
So, I fell back asleep. When I woke again, I woke to the shame I had around my divorce. THIS TIME, the shame 'tasted' sweet, like some sort of fruit sugar. I found staying in body and healing it to be effortless, almost like drinking fruit juice. Then back to sleep. Notice that healing the generational trauma of my grandfather didn't heal my shame - it just made my shame not feel personal or difficult to experience. This effect appears to be true on all emotions and traumas - if it feels personal, there is a generational problem making it so. When the generational issue isn't interfering, feelings and sensations are just that, without any sense of the personal that makes them so difficult to face. i.e., pain is just pain, sadness is just sadness, delight is just delight, and so on.
In our classes, we recommend using DPR on clients to get a similar effect - often, DPR causes cords between traumas and related phenomena to be released, giving the same effect of making the client's trauma much easier to heal (i.e. it doesn't really feel personal anymore, it's just pain, or feeling, or whatever.)
So, to review - if the client can't heal the issue, because it's just too personally painful, and DPR hasn't done the trick, you might want to investigate the generational issues. Of course, you can still just use 'brute force and ignorance', i.e. just grit your teeth and stay there in spite of everything, but this alternative is much easier to take.
And yes, the skin on my hand cleared up in a couple of days, and my stools became normal again...
Feelings of jealousy and envy lead to conception
I would like to thank you for the WHH chatting Yahoo Groups, and for the good work you and Mary Pellicer did with the WHH manual. Unfortunately, life is taking much of my time right now, I would love to take some time every day to learn this stuff, and heal myself. On the other hand, when I do, on my days off, my bathrooms do not get cleaned, among other things.
I have been working on my own, and the pain all over my body has much relieved. In the future, I will set only one issue to work on. Because I am a very thorough student (I don't want to miss anything), I started with the oldest message on the Yahoo group. It's all in sync with my life. I experienced the same thing than Alan in the message 32. Feeling hot in my heart chakra's area, calm and jealous or envious around this women.
Then I am working on WHH some traumas and going down the string. Once one is healed, the next picture appeared. This was over a period of a week. So I am about a year old and there are several traumas attached together. I healed the first one, ran out of time, so I called it quit until my next day off. When I resumed, I asked the Creator if there was an earlier memory than the one I was working on. I was transported inside the sperm, inside the egg. That was what I worked on.
I first concentrated to stay in my body inside the egg, and was able to stay there for a while just loving myself, alternating with EFT. I felt quite confident doing this somehow. I felt the sperm pushing on my belly, on the right of my belly button. I had no idea what it was until later when I was in the sperm pushing on the wall with my head. Writing this makes me realize that I am not finished healing inside the egg. Hmmmm! I felt no fear or apprehension just expectation.
Inside the sperm, I felt my cells moving inside like a sperm moves. That was neat. I did not sense other sperm around me. My head was pushing on the wall of the egg for awhile, and I felt the pressure on top of my head. At some point, I sense the wall getting thinner. Then a crack opened up, my head was flattened from top, front and back all at once, and I was sucked through the wall. It did not hurt. It took me by surprise though.
I loved myself, and did EFT inside the egg. It was easy to stay in my body, but I felt tension in my body from memories of my head splashing all over the inside wall. I eventually felt calm, and the blending of the sperm and the inside of the egg took place. I again, felt it at the cellular level. There was a special vibration going on. At some point, I expanded larger. Later, I felt bigger and round.
One of the commands was to look for the Creator's light. I did not see it although I saw some light. Nor did I see any colors or music. I called it quit after three hours. I knew that there was more healing that needed to be done. However, I felt somewhat CPL [calm, peaceful, lightness]. A strange idea crossed my mind that I wanted to keep some of my trauma. A fear of the unknown is scary compared to an old familiar prison...I returned to me as an infant, I was easily going in and out of my body. I was able to face my mom who was reprimanding me. I know it's not all healed since I am not completely in my body.
I saw the colors on my painting more vividly. But it was back to normal the day after, yet again I saw my boyfriend's face 'different' than usual like I mentioned over the phone.
I somewhat feel that there is something else that I need to heal somewhere else. Grant, could you, please give me some insight? In the mean time, I will continue going back in the egg and the sperm. Debra sure makes it look easy.
Healing schizophrenia by healing split-personality traumas
[Editor’s note: Dr. Waisel used just basic WHH to heal his schizophrenic patient in 2002. She was a complex case as she had other severe issues, not just schizophrenia. Note, we don’t recommend this approach - our current process for eliminating schizophrenia is quite different, much simplified and far faster.]
D is a 24-year-old Jewish Orthodox girl. She was married 4 years ago against her will by Rabbi's order to a young man she doesn't love. Her schooling was in an all-girl Jewish Orthodox school.
Before she came to me she was seeing a psychiatrist once a month and was treated by various psychiatric medications, which did not help her symptoms. When she first came to me it was because of disturbing 'voices' that bugged her incessantly. She was diagnosed as schizophrenic one year earlier, when she came to the local hospital's ER because of severe anxiety and insomnia. She said that she is visited by 'aliens' that take the form of butterflies. She sees their foot prints on the floor of her apartment. They want her and her husband to have a child. They want her to come with them to their galaxy. They can't get into 'good people'. They call her an 'inferior human'. She also has two 'good angels' or 'good spirits', a man and a woman, who tell her good things and support her.
In our talks during the sessions, it transpired that she also had visual hallucinations of several sorts, always of a frightening and/or a sexual nature, and delusional thoughts about one of her female teachers, who she claimed told her that "she mustn't think and she can't learn". She also reported recurring dreams where "a demon with a huge penis comes at night to copulate with her". Beside these symptoms, she had three 'personae': one of age 5 years "who only wants sweets", one of age 14 "who is good and smart", and one of age 16 "who is bad and stupid", beside her own 'normal' persona.
During the sessions she had at first many temper-tantrums when she would throw herself on the floor, hit and kick at the floor with her hands and feet and wail. Many times she would revert to an earlier-age behavior and stick her tongue out at me, make faces and thumb her nose at me. Sometimes, especially when healing a particularly difficult episode, she would suddenly open her eyes and "not recognize" me, saying things like "Who are you? I don't know you! where am I?" At these times I would "remind" her that she came to me to heal her voices, and would also tell her plainly that what she is doing is an attempt at avoiding the issue by supposedly "forgetting". This always had a calming effect, and after a time we would continue working.
Looking for early traumas, we found repeated sexual incest traumas with her father, from age 5 onward till age 14, at different intervals; a sexual attempt on the part of the same woman teacher at age 14/16 which was traumatic supposedly because of her earlier sexual traumas; and the personality-splits at age 5, 14 and 16.
During the long (6 months, 54 sessions, mostly 2-3 hrs each) treatment period, the "bad entities" or "demons" changed from threatening butterflies to large black flies "who tell her she should do different things she knows she's not allowed to", or a large black bird, until they finally disappeared, coincident with the healing of the personality-splits, approximately half-way through the treatment.
Whenever traumas did not heal by WHH alone (not often), we resorted to TIR [Traumatic Incident Reduction, a psychological power therapy], playing the scene from beginning to end over and over again, always maintaining in-body awareness, until all negative emotions and sensations disappeared and she could play the whole scene over with calm, peace and lightness.
After healing the traumas of age 5 and 14, the personality-splits disappeared as the split parts re-merged with her personae. After healing a large number of sexual traumatic episodes, the demons and good spirits disappeared as well. After a long time in treatment and healing both early sexual traumas and sexual traumas of marital life, her relations with the husband improved.
She was re-diagnosed as not having schizophrenia by the same psychiatrists who previously diagnosed her as schizophrenic (claiming that either they were wrong at first diagnosis, or "she is making things up".
Unfortunately after returning from a long visit abroad to her sister she has declined to continue the treatment and remains depressive and on medication, although not schizophrenic.
Adam Waisel, MD, 2002
[Later:] The (post-)schizophrenic girl is doing fine. She was appraised by the head of the psychiatric department at the hospital here, to confirm her therapist's diagnosis. After the interview, she was told bluntly that she is pretending, malingering, has no illness whatsoever and never had...! Hurrah! I doubt they'll accept the theory and practice of WHH. Believe me, she was NOT mistaken, this girl definitely HAD schizophrenia. And since several sessions ago she is definitely cured, only having now "normal" problems and some left-overs from the main issue. Just before leaving for Memphis we healed the episode of the 'split' in her personality, and when I came back and we continued, I was amazed to find that she has completely ceased speaking of her 'black entities', and of her 'other-self' as a separate person. I asked her about it point-blank and she admitted that the black ones stopped showing themselves and stopped telling her things, and she now realizes that she has clashing ideas and wishes, but that they are all in her, part of her. In the last session we worked on a trauma and she found the emotion of loneliness. She told me that up to now she was never alone, because she always had her other self for company, but now she is really alone.
She still has a ways to go though. I'm now working with her on issues of trust and shame, especially when she is touches or embraced and feels pleasure from it (by women friends etc). She has begun shiatsu treatments and comes out of them feeling very good about herself. I see this as an important step forward.
Smoking addiction due to traumas and a copy
[Editor’s note: We have a separate specialized class for healing addictions, both for safety reasons and because there are usually a variety of different types of problems that need to be treated with particular techniques that are not taught in the basic Whole-Hearted Healing class. The example below on a smoking addiction well illustrates this problem of multiple causes for most addictions.]
Did an interesting session a few weeks ago, on a woman who couldn't quit smoking. She'd been smoking since she was 6 years old, but had gotten a lung disease that the smoking was making much worse - but she couldn't stop herself. She really wanted to quit, but couldn't. She is in her 40's now.
Did standard WHH (Whole Hearted Healing), having her go back to the origin of the current craving sensation. It was something at age 6, I can't recall what anymore. When we tried to go earlier, she just recalled earlier incidents where she was extremely happy, and felt happy at the moment (a peak state).
She now found the cigarette we put under her nose (à la Gary Craig) to smell revolting - yet she found herself wanting to go have one anyway! This was a surprise to me, but my recent work with copies and soul stealing led me to ask if this wanting to smoke felt like herself or someone else? She replied, to her surprise, that it felt like her girlfriend's presence, from years ago when the two of them were just starting smoking. We tapped using EFT on "Holding on to her girlfriend", and the sense of her girlfriend's presence vanished. Her desire to go out and smoke did also.
Then she had another feeling in her solar plexus, which we used EFT on. At this point, she felt calmer and happier than she could recall ever feeling.
That afternoon, she wanted another cigarette. I had her do EFT eye rolls and the craving went away. The next day, it was back again. It was centered in the solar plexus again, so I assume the EFT didn't hold, and used WHH on the sensation. It led to age 2, when she was being taken away from her parents into an adoption situation, and she didn't know why or what she'd done. Lots of abandonment feelings. As the feelings were leaving, she flashed later in time to see the image of a Christian cross, with more bad feelings. Since she'd gone LATER in time, not earlier, it told me she'd not done some part of the current age 2 trauma. And sure enough, the part remaining was around fear. The cross image had no charge after releasing the fear at age 2 using WHH. Again, after the session she had no craving, and was feeling better than she could ever recall feeling. No earlier trauma came up during the session.
Over the next week, she had a sore throat and felt sort of sick (as the tobacco left her system and the skin in the throat and lungs regenerated, I assume.) About a week later, she had a desire to smoke, which she could ignore, but the reason was interesting - she felt bored! One round on just the upper body points with EFT left her feeling light, without the bored feeling anymore - and no desire to smoke.
This session pointed out the multiple causes of this addiction, and the fact it really took 3 sessions spread over time to get the whole thing, as material surfaced as time passed. However, the most important piece to me was the fact that she was driven to want to smoke NOT by her own trauma, but by the 'copy' of her friend's feeling around wanting to try it - something that her system couldn't dissolve or ignore, since it wasn't hers to begin with. You might want to watch out for it in your clients.
Family conflict leads to an in utero trauma
Did WHH with 2 of my patients. Didn't explain anything to start with, just told them to sit comfortably, close their eyes and do what I tell them. Amazing results: A woman in her early thirties, ballet dancer, came for acupuncture because of 3 beginning hernias (bilateral inguinal and umbilical). After several sessions she described her relationship with her husband's mother and sister, who criticized, frightened and greatly stressed her. She felt the tension and fright in her stomach. We did WHH. She came to somewhere before birth, everything green-brown and murky. Then she saw her legs as little and dark, then all of her body as little and dark. After the session (3 hours) she was very large and bright, water clear. After opening her eyes I asked her for her SUDS and she said 5-6. I got her back to the large and bright baby and run a film of her life from this point to the present. SUDS turned to 0! Next session she reported no hate or other negative feelings about her mother-in-law. BUT asked for an acupuncture session and not WHH...
Adam Waisel, MD
Back pain and fatigue lead to neural tube development in the fetus
A man, 66, with back pain and fatigue in the legs after short walks. Superb 'seeing'. Got very quickly, in stages, to 3 and a half months in utero (through concentration camp - didn't linger on this trauma!). Murky water, small dark embryo. WHH’ed it till bright & large. Water still somewhat murky. Had him stay with it till water cleared. Then asked him to look for a yet earlier picture. Found a "bubble" that was gray. WHH’ed it till bubble became bright and large, 'like polished crystal glass' and the water cleared. In the session he said that he feels the back pain along one wall of the bubble. (I wager that that's where the lower back pain and scoliosis originate!, in the neural tube stage. I'll look into it further. Had him bring the changes to the present as a movie. After I described to him the theoretical basics, he developed palpitations and fear/anxiety, with heaviness in the chest, and seemed afraid of the... what I'd call 'paradigm-shaking ramifications' of this, and the severe blow to his 'belief system' (my own interpretation of his fear). I asked for a little more credit and to do WHH again, on this problem. He got quickly to the 3.5 months embryo, and from there immediately to the bubble, which was half dark. WHH’ed it till bright and large and no sensations/emotions. Jumped forward to 3.5 months which was still somewhat dark. WHHed it too. Went back to bubble and from there brought the changes forward. Felt fine. Still has objections to the basic assumptions, and I feel it is really shaking his belief system only he doesn't know how to phrase it, or even think it. Won't admit to complete fixing of the problem, only that 'it feels better', and I could sense his caution. I'll see him next week and report on his well-being.
Adam Waisel, MD
Several unrelated problems are labeled as depression
[Editor’s note: from a WHH standpoint, there are at least two kinds (if not more) of phenomena lumped under the heading of depression. This observation is not just mine, I've also seen this idea written up on the EFT list. Partly because it's empirical, the 'suppressed thought' type doesn't appear to respond to EFT as far as I know. In fact, while investigating birth, I recently came across a third type of depression in myself, that apparently occurs during the first contraction and is centered around the experience of at a spiritual level, having the feeling that one doesn't really exist, or isn't real.
The types have different characteristics, although they all feel pretty terrible. With the repressed phrase type, you can still feel a range of emotions, both positive and negative, they're just muted. In the trauma-related kind, it's one feeling that dominates (i.e. PTSD symptom). In this new type I just had, it was more a kind of lethargy without emotions - I didn't feel anything in particular but couldn't move and didn't want to take care of myself.]
Working on s.p. (solar plexus) trauma, I began to have depressive emotions and suicidal thoughts. There was no other reason for these, and I have never in the past have had either. Doing more WHH and the Inner Peace Process removed the depression and thoughts, but I'm not satisfied with 'results only'. It means the responsible trauma is still there, and not fully healed, since I know the s.p. trauma is not completely healed.
Healing client’s birth trauma becomes straightforward after healing one’s own
I recently took several of my patients through and across the birth trauma, comparatively easily and without any hitches, which tells me that I have probably healed the greater part of this trauma in myself. Judging from my patients' ease of accomplishment, it seems that seeing the trauma and really being able to see when you are in-body in the trauma moment is critical to fast healing.
Adam Waisel, MD
Chronic hoarseness and aching throat due to birth trauma
Did a treatment session of about 20 minutes during a social visit to friends, on the spur of the moment, with the daughter, teacher, 30 yrs old, who suffers from chronic and relapsing hoarseness and aching throat, with tonsillitis 2-3 times a year. She managed very easily to get to just before birth, healed the birth trauma, brought the changes forward to the present. Ache disappeared immediately, ache and hoarseness didn't recur since, now 45 days.
Adam Waisel, MD
Blocked ears due to birth trauma
Session with patient with blocked ears for one year due to blockage of pharyngeal end of Eustachian tubes by edema of the mucosa. Two days before underwent audiologic examination and was told that the Eustachian tubes were completely non functioning. Birth trauma. Ears gradually opened and stayed completely open at CPL (40 min.).
Adam Waisel, MD
Infectious Mononucleosis due to birth trauma
Session with patient 31, male, solo singer in new rock group. Infectious mononucleosis since 2 months with fatigue, weakness, shoulder aches, dispnea, follicular tonsillitis-like syndrome. Birth trauma with cervix pressing around neck and chest/shoulders blocking descent. Vacuum-assisted birth. Healed completely. Will let you know future results.
I have no reason to believe that full-blown Chronic Fatigue Syndrome will behave any differently.
Adam Waisel, MD
Abandonment issues lead to coalescence, conception and implantation traumas
Worked yesterday with a woman friend on the issue of her feelings on being ditched by men. From her most recent episode she went through several images at different ages, then straight to implantation, where she felt resistance on the part of the mother's womb to accept her as the fertilized egg/embryo (actually she first saw the womb from outside and had to get in).
[Editor note: We also have seen this type of implantation trauma. During the first regression, the zygote bounced off the womb wall and really hurt in the solar plexus with strong life-threatened feelings. Using WHH on the mom around that moment allowed the zygote to attach at the first approach. This was an interesting example of ‘changing the past’ using WHH.]
She started working on this when the telephone rang and broke her concentration. On trying to regain the image, she got to a strange space, "like another dimension" she said, or in outer space, because she could see the earth far away. At first I told her to quit fooling around and concentrate on finding the implantation image, as she has a tendency toward unchecked channeling, but then I thought why not see where this gets her and allowed her to continue with this image. She saw something like a swarm of many very small things, coalescing to form a colorless bubble or water drop with some outer layers, and knew this to be the formation of the sperm cell. I asked her how many 'things' there where coalescing, and she looked and just said "a great lot". She got inside the sperm cell and felt suffocated, constricted, incarcerated and angry for being cooped up in so close quarters. The phrase was "Get loose/free!" She got to calm, peace, and lightness (cpl), and on bringing the changes forward found some negativity in grade 2 so she went back into the sperm and found some more anger which she fixed. She went back to the sperm 5 times, because each time she found some negativity somewhere on the way up (once also in implantation, which was gone after another round in sperm). After sperm was totally cpl, I had her go to conception, then let the DNA/brains merge with the egg's.
Now comes the high point of this session: as the bright mass from the sperm merged with the egg's (I told her to try and feel as if it's a royal wedding which she did), it merged easily on the left side, but not on the right. She had to work at it a long time and there was a lot of anger and wanting to hit somebody. Finally both sides were merged and she brought the changes forward. There was a difference between left and right in birth so she went back to the merging and fixed it some more, and on checking, both implantation and birth were now ok, but there was some left/right difference at age 20 (we left it as it was pretty late already). After the session she was cpl. I asked her whether there was any left/right problem in her adult life, and she remarked that she'd always had difficulty discriminating left/right, has to stop and consider. Two things come to my mind: a) where was this 'space' and why 'a myriad little things'; b) can the merging of the sperm and egg brains be responsible for left/right problems?
Adam Waisel, MD
[Editor's note: First, on the left right problems, I've seen that over and over as due to the conception. So, yes. Could be other reasons too, but that seems core. Apparently, the sperm and egg cellular processes that are self aware and which later develop into the brains in the person can maintain a left right separation if conception isn't done correctly. This also shows up in the Realm of the Shaman, where each brain is represented by a sacred being, from both the egg and the sperm.
Second, the space. As you suggested, it is probably a precellular memory where the precellular organelle brains merge to form a primordial germ (sperm) cell at the event we call coalescence, as there are seven pieces that combine at this stage.
A final comment about the session. Note how she had to go back several times? I see this a lot, because the client isn't always aware that they've skipped material at the earliest trauma. Probably partly because they've had the symptoms for so long they think it's normal, and partly because of the awareness of the person involved. That's why we have the extra 3 minutes of healing as part of the technique, and the large and bright everywhere criterion for pre-birth memories.]
Finding marital problems in conception
This session I think is very instructive, so I'm sending you it, to post to the group if you deem it right.
Session with patient, 58, who all her life was short tempered, aggressive and apprehensive. Recent marital problems. Asked her to define for herself her feelings and sensations concerning her issue, then go in the past and look for an image with the same feelings and sensations, and let these guide her. I told her specifically not to look for a memory [as memory is a conscious remembrance composed of different things, like thoughts and judgments, whereas an image is simple, and mostly we're not even aware of having it in store] but for an image, even if she doesn't 'remember' it.
After about 15 minutes she came to birth, seeing her mother from the side, giving birth to her at home. I asked her to go further back. She came up with an image at 4 months in utero. Asked her to go even further. She saw the egg and the sperm. The egg was bright and small, the sperm was dark, so I told her to go into the sperm. Phrase: "Come into the light". Sperm brightens, goes into egg, splits in two, something from inside it comes out and joins something of the egg. I told her to repeat "Join forces in glory" (in Hebrew translation, which I found on the way back from Memphis). Told her to look for the division of the egg and she did. Good feeling, egg disappeared, all that remains is an empty space. Brings changes to the present 'as in a movie'. Gets up and walks about. Feels partly light and partly heavy, slightly dizzy. Ache in back of head. Back to sperm, which is dark in the head. Heaviness and ache in head, sadness, "I'm tired". After several minutes "something strange happened: the sperm split in two, rushed out of the egg and brought me all the way to the present through the same 'stations' as before". Feels a lot better, but still has some heaviness and sadness. Back to sperm, some darkness in sperm head. Phrase, "A little more". Sperms brightens till luminescence. Inside egg, sperm disintegrates, shed-off parts float to egg's membrane and adhere there, central part goes to meet egg's part. Splendid feeling. I pushed her gently towards sensation of marriage and bride & groom with the phrase "Join forces in glory". Sees form of little fetus forming inside fertilized egg. Process of bringing changes to the present happens spontaneously. "You know what's happening to me? I'm moving through all of the same stations and they don't have the negative feelings!" Only the two most recent episodes in her current family life are still somewhat oppressive. Returns spontaneously to sperm and fertilization, waits until egg is luminescent and the feelings are only peace and calm, "Join forces in glory". Brings changes forward. No oppression or negative feelings in any of the 'stations'. [Editor’s note: A good description of conception. The little ‘fetus’ was very probably the nucleolus/nucleus forming.]
When I explained to her that "The words/phrases of the traumas are what drives our lives as adults", she responded with a great but short weeping, and then explained that "You know, it is SO true! All my life I'd come home from work and complain of how tired I am, and my little daughter felt she needed to always help me, and then later she developed anorexia."
I told her that next time we'll have to deal with her guilt feelings towards her daughter (then maybe heal her daughter too, if she'd consent to come).
Adam Waisel, MD
EFT on a nervous feeling leads to a ‘sac’ prenatal event
Hi, Mary, Grant :)
The process seemed to go great, although I still felt like there was something standing in my way. I guess instead of CPL, I've been feeling Annoyed Peaceful and Light. :) But just to give a brief summary to get my own thoughts clear:
I started with some nervousness, probably from doing EFT in front of someone. And I had some tightness and tension triggered by one of my traumas an hour earlier or so...it's one that triggers, lingers, then fades. The nervousness left after some rounds (using EFT), and we finally chased the tension around until it resolved and turned into a deep sadness deep in my belly. I focused in on the sadness and got a brief image of a baby crying. Mary suggested I go into the baby like WHH and I felt like I was (alone and) dying but not any terror, just a sadness of dying, if that makes any sense. That resolved most of the sadness. On the next round, I believe, I went into the sadness again. I saw what looked like the inside of a sack of some kind, glowing slightly. There was a small round shape inside it, looked like it was stuck to one side of it perhaps. Mary suggested I go into the small shape. I kept trying but couldn't get there. Suddenly I realized my sadness WAS not being able to reach this thing. And (whether I saw what might be going on and influenced this in some way I can't say) I got a brief feeling of my dad in me/with me or something. Staying with that it dissolved a little.
I know there's more stuff I don't remember right this second. Doing the process, I kept feeling lighter, and more peaceful, and I feel it still. I haven't noticed any increase in internal brightness. I did a brief meditation, and while I can't say my mind chatter was gone, there seemed to be more "space" between them. More silence. Very nice.
Abandoned lover feelings from a sperm trauma
[Editor's note: This is an excerpt from a letter between Dr. Waisel and another colleague, where they are discussing the effectiveness of a therapy other than WHH.]
Your technique is certainly interesting and inspiring, and certainly seems another useful tool.
Myself, I prefer to go to the 'crux of the matter' so to speak, and deal right away with the source trauma, by using WHH. If I understand correctly the method you're using, it doesn't take longer to use WHH, and this cannot be undone, at least theoretically. The thing to remember is to go AS FAR AS POSSIBLE AND EVEN FARTHER. I'll give an example of what I mean: today I had a woman in, who was left by her lover of several years. She was sad, feeling lonely, and angry at him. We started at the last meeting with him, where all these emotions surfaced, then I asked her to bring forth an earlier image that included these emotions, telling me only what age she was in the image. Whenever she came up with an image, I would ask her to go even further back. Finally she came up with an image at birth. I asked her to go further back. She then saw her father and mother making love. I asked her to go into the place where they joined. She couldn't right away, but entered her father, which caused her to sob and exclaim how she missed them both.
We healed this with WHH, then when she felt relaxed enough I asked her to try and go into the join. She did, and reported that she is in a 'warm dark place', which seemed to be her mom's uterus. I asked her what form she was, and she said 'like a little fish, small and dark'. Ok, she was her in father as a sperm-cell. We proceeded to WHH it, which took several turns but was finally healed, sperm becoming very large and bright, all emotions gone except calm and peace, and physical lightness. Then I had her bring the changes forward ("like a movie from his place to the present"). It all took somewhat more than an hour, but I assume that this trauma is primary, hence the healing is complete. We could of course have stayed and healed the birth image, but I find that many times there is 'one more trauma' even when we're sure we're already so far back there just can't be any further. Surprise!
I usually have them check on the last trauma healed in the previous session, at the next session before going on to a new one, just to see if there are some remnants that have to be healed. One added benefit to using WHH are the insights many clients have on healing their trauma, which help them understand what drove them till now. (Or that her mother didn't deprive her of her breast-milk, she simply didn't have anymore... makes for a lot more understanding and forgiveness). EFT does abolish the symptoms, but it doesn't give insights to understanding. But hey, use whatever serves you - and your clients - best.
Adam Waisel, MD
First timer healing emotional issues around a back injury
A couple updates. First, though, I want to relate some of my first time WHH tx. Yesterday printed material from your website and put in notebook for study/reference. Did a tx on myself this morning - very interesting. Started to look at spinal cord-injury stuff - feelings/phrases came up of 'I don't deserve anything good', 'I need to hurt myself', 'I'm not worthy' - had to keep rubbing on my heart area as I wanted to get OOB (out of body) to deal with this rather than stay in body. Actually had some fear with 'I need to hurt myself' phrase - very unlike me, never been suicidal though minor depression w/cord-injury stuff - wasn't even sure it was my statement/feeling - almost got a little panic-y - stayed with it in heart - felt like draining of energy there you speak of, and also used image of Holy Fire [divine Love] in heart area to consume/burn away stuff - I've used that image before in heart area to neutralize stuff. Thought came up of as Soul being kicked out of heaven by God [so IT could go out and learn about ITself], of being kicked out of the womb [image of tongs pulling me out of womb, angry, mad, unprotected].
Tried to stay with things until they no longer evoked feelings. At one point my chest felt like it was 2 to 3x its regular size - like expanding outside my body - almost like bursting - never felt that before. Experience ended with feeling very floaty/light, some golden light in my body. I normally do a contemplation at that time in the morning as I did today and it felt like a cosmic being worked on me with hands of light, pulled a darker covering off my spine [like pulling a wrapper off a candy cane - pulled it off/out through coccyx area]. Also image of brown/earth-colored energy flowing over me - like old self/body was being buried/put to rest - like my spinal-cord-injured body wasn't there anymore. Got dressed and got up and saw my outline of me in wheelchair reflected off wall from light behind me, and also in looking in mirror at myself - thought came up of 'why are you still in the wheelchair', felt very incongruous to still be there/here. I will go back and see if any of this stuff that came up needs to be cleaned up further or if it leads anywhere else.
‘Copies’ blocked healing with any techniques
[Editors note: 'Copies' are just one of the unusual phenomena that can be found during a client session - WHH teaches the therapist how to recognize and eliminate them. The following is a composite of two letters, with personal material deleted.]
I was introduced to Peak States and Grant at a conference a few years ago. He amazed me because the way he talked I was a normal product of my environment.
I have lived my life in a sub-normal states of consciousness. It was such a relief to learn that. I am no longer in that state and I move between states today. Nothing very fantastic but I can be useful. I also no longer experience life as suffering. What a relief! I laugh every day without experiencing pain.
After doing many sessions of WHH, I recognized a copy. It was a copy of my mother's grief when she mistakenly thought her children were dead and it was her fault. Not a fun thing to carry around for forty years. I had tried to heal this incident in my life at least 30 times and 10 different methods.
The next thing I found was a copy during birth. Again it was mother’s pain and hopelessness.
In the last couple of days I found two more copies during birth. I am not as complex [a client] now. EFT works for me. WHH works. Gratitude works. PEAT and Precision work for me. I have found copies and soul pieces in my clients and freed them from the effects.
I have found a total of seven copies I have been carrying around. When I cleared the last one I started making significant progress on feeling better and being happy. Specifically what happened was I found a copy of my father. In that becoming aware enough to spot the copies was difficult because the copies would trigger birth and neither would heal.
My conclusion is that like Grant says in the WHH manual, copies block healing. They are hard to spot. I will watch for them in any client that does not go reasonably quickly.
I can merge with people I work with and track what is happening in them without picking up any part of them. This is freedom to me. I have been merging unconsciously with those around me my whole life. I have lots of practice.
[Editor's note: 'Merging' safely like this requires the Silent Mind state, which is part of our more advanced training. Otherwise it's very risky. People who have been doing it unconsciously are often affected with problems related to 'soul pieces'. That's the 'picking up part of them' this student refers to.]
This week people started responding to me differently. People I see everyday for years are now using my name and thanking me. I don't remember that happening ever before. My worst state now would have been a peak experience two years ago. Each day is better for me. It is working. I rarely suffer. If I am suffering it is because of an unfinished piece of work.
I just had a client come in with what to me was an obvious copy. The interesting thing is that he has been a client off and on for over a year. The copy is what made him difficult to work with.
Thanks everybody for all the work.
Spiritual emergency resolved with pre-birth regression
I have another reason for contacting you; I have a client who is in a really serious "spiritual emergency" state, and I am finding that, although I was able to bring him out of an earlier episode, I am not having much success this time. Would you be able/willing to offer me some consultation about this?
Thanks for asking about my client; yes, he did get better, and is still doing very well. The major reason is that I started experimenting with deep regression and the pre-birth states. It was amazing to see how accurate your descriptions were; and the resulting healings were the turning point for him in what had been a very severe situation. Thank you! Particularly important were: his experience of being the egg (as his mother was viciously psychotic, he was very resistant to this but doing it really changed things), and processing an injury to the head of the sperm during ejaculation (which was recapitulated in his later life as a severe jaw injury with damage to the ear and resulting tinnitus).
Finally, I want to say that I really appreciate your spirit of openness, generosity, and honesty in the way you present your information. Thank you!
The Inner Peace Process eliminated suicidal feelings; and fear of a night attack
[Editor's note: This case involves the Inner Peace Process, which is taught as part of the WHH training. The simple public domain process used here causes many people to suddenly stop having past emotions intrude into their lives. In this case, the effect was only partial, but it still had a dramatic effect from the client's perspective.]
I had the opportunity to run the Inner Peace Process (IPP) last fall in October on a woman in her 50's. She went into the state easily, it took about 30 minutes, or about 4 rounds of music. It was a huge change for her, as she'd been struggling a long time with her emotionally traumatic material. Although I asked her to contact me if there were any problems, I didn't hear from her until February.
I found out later that she's had a drug and alcohol problem. She checked into a treatment center for 6 weeks over the Dec/Jan period, and was also given medication while she was there, and continuing. She felt that the treatment and medication were a waste, but her husband and sister wanted her there. I have no way to evaluate the degree of her addiction problem or usage, though.
The interesting part was that, unknown to me, she'd had problems with suicidal feelings for a long time. However, to her amazement, before, during the treatment process, and afterwards, these feelings never once manifested - something that had always occurred in the past in her life and during her other treatment center stays. She says she was depressed, though. And she also reported the medication didn't do much if anything for her. Apparently the IPP eliminated the suicidal feelings, even though she had left the Inner Peace state later, although it didn't eliminate the alcohol and drug problem.
When I saw her in February, she was out and doing well. However, she'd had a lifelong problem of fear of going asleep, especially with open windows and when near the door. It was her current dominant problem, and the reason she wanted a session with me. We did a WHH session on that, and it led to several operations where there was anesthesia mask put on her face as a child. (She'd had a lot of childhood sexual abuse, and she at first thought these feelings of suffocation where from being strangled by a pillow (we also did a strangulation trauma from the abuse in this session)). The last feeling of fear was during the birth process, in her upper chest, in something she described as turning upside down too soon when she was preparing to be born.
The final bit turned out to be the feeling of presences near her body. When we got rid of the fear, she was able to notice these. We did the shortcut of the SMT process [Editor’s note: This is taught in the WHH for addictions class and in the class on healing schizophrenia] with the phrase "Holding on to mom" while I had her focus on her lower belly.
It's been a week, and she reports, to her amazement, she has not even a trace of fear in the night.
She immediately re-entered the Inner Peace state at the end of our work, and hasn't left it. As of a week later, she reports that no matter what she does, she can't find any emotional trauma around any of her normally painful memories. Apparently, she's an example of the 'dominant trauma' problem blocking the peak state, but which came to consciousness AFTER the initial IPP session.
She also reported that during the session, she saw how her drug addiction problem started with these early operations, the first being for appendicitis, the second for tonsilitis, and so on - the anesthesia made the pain go away, and somehow this got linked to later in life using drugs and alcohol for a similar purpose. This was not something she was aware of earlier.
All my best to you,
On healing grief
[Editor's note: this is an example of an 'overlooked trauma'. Grief, especially grief about someone's death, is considered such a normal emotion that few people ever think of healing it. Grant's example shows how grief can be healed, yielding a new attitude that, in fact, better honours the dead person.]
"Is grief the same situation [as with the other emotions?] - we didn't stay in our bodies to fully have and heal the experience? And therefore the fix is the same, go back to our moment of greatest grief (or when the person died?) and stay there until it washes through? Can grief be completely handled in an hour?
"Feedback leading up to that question: I lost 3 close friends last year, and their deaths were two of my "indicator issues" during the peak states test; I was down to 0 when I first went into the Hollow state. As I'm now in and out, I realize that even when I'm out of the state, I'm still in some peak state because my emotions are much softer and there is noticeably CPL underneath. Today I found a photo of one of my friends and had a few waves of mild grief. I went back to the worst moment I could feel in grief and worked from there, and it went back to 0, but I don't know if that means grief follows the same pattern always."
[Grant comments: In my experience, grief is like any other experience that can be healed with basic WHH.
Let me give an interesting example. I was sitting in a cafe, and a woman walks in, looks around, and comes to my table. It's clear she's been crying, and after a few moments of small talk she confesses that her deceased spiritual teacher has just told her that there is a man in this cafe who can heal her of her grief! (Ever wonder what the genie in the lamp must have felt like??) It turns out that this woman had been very close to an elderly native shaman woman who was training her. The teacher had died three days earlier (at over 100 years of age), and the woman was beside herself with grief.
She sat at the table, and we proceeded to do basic WHH. It led to a
birth experience where she couldn't get out of the womb during birth, and she felt intense grief and sadness, why I can't now recall. She sat quiet and motionless while she healed, so that no one in the cafe could tell a birth piece was being healed while they sipped their cappuccinos. When she was done, and it only took about 15 minutes from start to finish including teaching time, the grief was completely gone. Note that it was very easy to do because the woman's level of grief walking in was about the same as her level of grief in utero, so there was no perceptible resistance to experiencing the core trauma. The woman then told me that her old teacher could now communicate clearly with her, and was much more satisfied with her state. Apparently, the grief had been blocking the communication channel between them. She left the cafe quite transformed.
As for the communication with the dead, the most likely thing that was going on was that the old teacher was alive in the past, and projecting her consciousness forward in time to talk to her student. Hank Wesselman talks about doing this himself in his book, Spiritwalker. It can really be done from my personal experience. (I'll save that story for another day.)]
On noticing when we are affected by a trauma
[Editor's note: in this email, Mary was responding to a student who talked about being embarrassed at the idea of writing about his feelings to the email list. This can also go under the heading of 'overlooked traumas.' Mary reinforces the lesson that whenever we are not feeling calm, peaceful and light (CPL), we are, in fact, reliving a past trauma.]
"Thank you for sharing--I would hazard a guess that you are not feeling CPL about this--hence the feelings are not real time in the present but just triggered past trauma--hence they can be healed. This is the thing that I have noticed people having the biggest problem with--noticing when they are "running a trauma".
"I have noticed in myself that I can be running a trauma and at the same time notice that I am doing it--in fact I was just doing it yesterday (*** is one of the few people who can still trigger me out of the Beauty Way)… In my case I did notice it and worked at staying with it a while as I tried to find the source--did manage to stay grumpy most of the night, but couldn't find where to go to heal it.
"Anyway, I find that just the fact of observing and acknowledging that the feelings aren't really connected to the present can help--don't know if anyone else has found this. But the biggest thing to notice is that it is a trauma (we get very used to feeling bad sometimes) and to remember that we know how to heal traumas. The next biggest thing is then to heal it. Sometimes these everyday little bumps in the road (like being embarrassed) can lead to some interesting places in our past--don't overlook these small gifts as there may be diamonds inside the box.
Mary Pellicer, MD
Conception seen from the sperm side
[Editor: here, the same student returns to clean up the sperm side of the same event that has anchored a whole string of sexual-abuse traumas.]
“I went back to the sperm at conception and placed myself in the body of the sperm. I was moving in a rapid but jerky fashion toward the egg. I had a sense of urgency and dread and anxiety. I entered the egg. It was dark, unfamiliar, and very scary. I had shortness of breath and breathing very rapidly. I kept wondering "what happens next?" I felt something happening to me. It burned and felt like acid. I felt like I was dissolving, then I saw a beautiful dark fuchsia color that persisted--then turned to a beautiful deep purple that was transparent. Then I began to see light--then dark--then light--then dark and as this was happening, I experienced a floating like weightlessness and moving around ever so slowly, gently, bumping against the shell or wall and floating weightless again. I saw a medium shade of peach or apricot that just bathed everything. At first there was a sense of a "me" and a something "not me". Then it changed until it just all seemed like me. I had a sense that the thing that was "not me" was still there, but it didn't feel separate anymore-- somehow it was there, but it was me. Then I saw a small shape of bright white light come toward me and it would disappear at about the place of my third eye, then another, then another. Then I just was---floating calm, peace, feeling light as a feather---I just was. I floated feeling CPL for a while. I felt complete and stopped.
I still feel calm peace and light and when I close my eyes, my entire field of vision is a bright, bright, vibrant red. I closed my eyes and checked it four times and it is still red. I like the way it makes me feel. It is a beautiful color of red infused with light.
I felt so incredible afterwards, I got on the phone to share it with a friend. Man what a feeling! This is unbelievably cool. This particular experience was painless and felt great. Of course we had done work on this in part before.”
[Grant adds a postscript: This student had to return to the egg's side of conception as her fear of being attractive became triggered again. Typically one must run through these patterns a few times to heal all aspects completely. This is why a support network is so important when working with survivors of sexual abuse.]
A chakra healing experience with unusual visuals
Grant writes: "I just had a client who had generalized anxiety. Been using EFT to take out aspects of it. It led to an in utero trauma where her chest was injured. But a unique feature came up. She felt a gentle pull, to what I thought would be the creator. Nope, she went somewhere else, and encountered a bright ball with little knobs sticking out of it. We continued to do WHH, and all of a sudden the ball went zip into her chest. At that point she felt great and her tiredness went away. It looks like it was her heart chakra returning to her body!! I wasn't even aware that it was possible to send the chakras off somewhere else, like soul loss does, but it appears to be so.
(Incidentally, the heart chakra looks a lot like an old fashioned ship's wheel, with the spokes sticking out, but in this case she saw it as a ball. In advanced work, the chakras consolidate into a disk in the solar plexus area, which is why I don't spend much time talking about the individual ones.)
Working with yoga to unearth traumas
[Editor: WHH blends well with a host of other techniques, using them as way to either bring to the surface or help release traumas. It's worth trying to combine it with all sorts of bodywork, meditation techniques, and assorted therapies.
This student's belief that one needs good 'visuals' to do WHH is a regrettable one. Fortunately, tuning in with his physical sensations through yoga and chigung gave him another perspective. It is entirely possible to locate and heal traumas from a tactile point of view. Some of us do it all the time.]
Hi All & Grant,
Like to get back into the WHH swing of things. I was one of the people for whom the technique did not work too well, as the whole "seeing" whether you are out of your body or not basically didn't happen for me, because in my normal state of consciousness I don't visualize. Still, I am interested in the work, and did get some results in my initial workshop by just trying to do the things I could do.
I'm working away on the neck/head trauma which Grant said he hypothesized was the a root of not being able to visualize. In any event, recently I've discovered a BIG "blank spot" around the umbilicus. This first became somewhat apparent to me in doing a chigung routine in which one of the moves was a spiraling circular massage of the abdomen, first out from the navel and then in to the navel. I "just didn't want to do it". Then, I had some experience doing it "when I had the time", and I just thought, "this is the most pointless thing, it doesn't seem to give me any energy like the rest of this routine does." Well, I didn't think more about it.
Recently, I started doing kundalini yoga in NYC with Gurunam, a student of Yogi Bhajan. In this system, there is a lot of "breath of fire" which is 2-3 somewhat shallow breaths per second, kind of jerking the navel inward on the exhale. Also, believe it or not, LEG LIFTS (lying on your back and raising your legs perpendicular to the floor) will make you feel your navel, but only if the flat of your back is pressed against the floor(put hands under buttocks to adjust posture). I was astonished, because I'd done leg lifts before, and had never felt this area of my body, but I think all the breath of fire was activating the area. Well, that's the report from this front. I am always astonished to see not only the blank spots, but how hard it is to SEE the blank spots. Working with this k-yoga stuff has rapidly RAPIDLY brought up some memory/trauma type stuff, still not visual for me though.
The concept comes up, and the feeling, and it has kind of followed the WHH thread/theme concept-for example, first it was not being able to whistle with my fingers in my mouth, then it was not being able to play tennis in fifth grade, then it popped up to college when I couldn't start a fire with a bow drill. I know all that doesn't sound too traumatic, but frankly, it made ME feel worthless and pretty suicidal, and I noticed this kind of discrepancy in the events and the emotions, and thought, this has to be coming from something earlier, but it hasn't gone there yet.
The navel area has "opened" up a bit anyhow, and I can see how important this numbness must be, because I notice when I can get my awareness there, there is some kind of stability of mind, which I'm sorry I can't be more eloquent about.
On falling asleep during regression
[Editor: here are a few more short items from another long email by our dearly-missed colleague, the late Dr Adam Waisel. I've added a subject heading for each section. Grant's comments date from 2002.]
From: Adam Waisel
Subject: Adam: Sessions
Date: Thu, 21 Feb 2002
Solar plexus trauma again - definitely! Sharp knife-like pain in solar plexus and in top (middle) of head. Same phrase, same emotion. Long session, not done yet, but definitely getting there. Right track! Strange thing - except for this last session right now, all other sessions I fell asleep in the middle. Is it significant? Seems to be a powerful trauma.
[Grant comments: Sleep for me is either an opportunity to go into the hypnagogic state just at waking, or a defense that my body uses to block progress. It can be hell to stay awake, but when I do, I've found a shell layer becomes conscious.]
[Paula comments: the mention of a 'powerful trauma' makes me suspects that sleepiness here is about avoidance, not opportunity. Solar plexus has a role in the body's energy… Sometimes when faced with this sort of situation I use the un-politically-correct solution: a tall cup of coffee, sipped as I heal. Whatever works!]
Conception seen from egg's perspective ⎯ parents are projected on the egg and sperm
Adam Waisel: 1.23.02
Been sick with flu a few days, since then mind seems not to work properly, as if it is somewhat mute [mute, not muted]. Hard time getting words. As if mind is not all there.
Session on egg. At first worked on getting out of ovary clean, without additions. Then felt being my mother's young self, at some point was aware of the 3 basic meridians, the chakras, and the [sperm and egg] hearts which I made into one. Felt like a bride with white gown on her way to her wedding.
Went down bright hallways to my appointed meeting with father's sperm, which also felt like his younger self. Conception like Love and Marriage in great bright ballroom. To implantation. Brought the changes [forward to the present].
[Grant comments: For others reading this, the key part here is that the egg feels like the mom's younger self, the sperm feels like the father's younger self. Using this for regression is useful.]
A safer alternative to the no-breath technique
[Editor: Since Adam came up with this much safer method, we've used it in many settings to stimulate birth-trauma memories. It has the great advantage of being much safer than actually holding one's breath - especially for people who suffer from heart disease or other conditions that make them sensitive to changes in blood oxygen levels in the present. This modified no-breath technique seems just as effective in bringing up the panic of hypoxia to consciousness, ready to be healed.]
Adam Waisel: 2.18.02
I noticed that breathing through the mouth and keeping the nose closed mimics breath-holding. It is quite simple to explain, as very small infants can't do mouth breathing, and suffocate when their nose is clogged. I find it helps in birth trauma and is easier than
breath-holding. Although I'm not quite sure why even the breath-holding technique works, as the unborn baby doesn't breathe at all during the birth.
[Grant comments: This is a real contribution! I'll try it out, and this should make it easier to heal those things.
The no-breath technique works because during birth, the fetus is cut off from the oxygenated blood supply by the uterine wall contraction at the diaphragm, not to mention any mechanical squeezing of the umbilical cord.]
Adam: [added 3 days later:] I've noticed that using the mouth-breathing by closing off the nose airways (by elevating the soft palate - the natural and spontaneous action one does when one doesn't want to smell something), causes the body brain to feel it's not getting any air, while [still] supplying the necessary air to the system.
[Paula comments: this is why the no-breath technique is helpful in dealing with any trauma that involves hypoxia, not just birth.]
Chronic hoarseness leads to a birth trauma
Adam Waisel: 2.18.02
Several days ago, as I sat with friends, a girl of 30 told me she has these throat aches all the time since she was little, and gets hoarse after several hours of teaching. I had her do WHH without any explanation. She got to a moment before birth and healed it. The throat ache disappeared immediately. Curiously, the word that she found was "tummy". Now I'm waiting to hear if there's a relapse.
[Grant comments: I also found a series of sore throats I was having were triggered by feelings of lonlyness. Regressing on this took me to birth, and the feeling of stomach acid burning in my throat.]
More about DPR applied to couples' relationships
[Editor's note: DPR stands for Distant Personality Release, a technique taught in the Whole-Hearted Healing therapy. It is a very unusual technique in that it affects another person - in essence, it eliminates transference and counter-transference between people.]
Adam: Today I felt that my girl-friend has some reservations about letting herself love me completely. So I DPRed her. Had 3 reservations, one of them having to do with the WHH paradigm (although she loves the method), another a general "but...", and a third I don't recall. This afternoon she called and reported that she "has decided to let herself love me completely", citing some logical excuse. Of course I didn't tell her about the DPR... not yet.
[Grant comments: That DPR is amazing stuff!]
Working through resistance to accessing trauma: Vulnerability and abuse episodes lead to conception
[Editor: this long example, although the presenting complaint is fear of being attractive, is fairly typical of what the healing looks like in situations involving sexual abuse. There is often a fair bit of resistance to approaching the traumas; note the different techniques that Grant uses to help the student overcome this.
The originating problem for sexual abuse often is the feeling of being 'raped' by the womb wall at birth, or, as in this example, a problem in conception. Note that the 'party feeling wronged' could just as easily be the sperm as the egg.]
Whole Hearted Healing session facilitated by Grant (identified as G. in the transcript). Student is identified as D.
Issue: Fear of being attractive. Severity: 10 out of 10.
Grant: Go back into a memory, and put your hand on chest. The memory may not be about being attractive.
D finds a memory in adulthood, feels she can't love herself, starts to feel suffocated right away.
G: Remember to love yourself FOR not being able to breathe, and love yourself FOR not loving yourself in that moment… Stay in body.
Okay to love yourself FOR being irrational –on some level it IS rational.
D: I'm going somewhere else, do you want to go there?
G: Give me a phrase; where are you?
D: Age 24 [earlier than prior memory].
(Describes a circumstance of being in a beauty contest and being
asked out by one of the judges.)
G: Okay, so be there, love yourself for exactly how you were and what you did.
D tries to go later into that same event, the date with the judge.
G: Come back to present and feel the feeling, then go back and find which memory (the beauty contest, or the subsequent date rape) matches the present-day fear.
G: What was the original issue – fear of being attractive. Okay, make sure we stay with EXACTLY that fear sensation.
G: Now love yourself for not breathing and for trying to get away.
(While D is breathing, G is explaining to her: Love
yourself because part of your body’s or psyche’s job is to keep yourself alive, so love part of you that made connection and acted to keep you alive.)
D is uncomfortable and tries to go forward or past, or to ramble talking, or to change or reframe the story-line of the memory.
G: Don’t change the past or do something different, just freeze-frame there, stay in that moment in that memory that was most frightening.
D finishes that memory and comes to CPL with the beauty contest experience. Grant tells D to feel for a thread pulling her earlier into another memory. D finds a memory of being in a 7-11 when some bare-chested construction guys come into the store; she feels trapped, and leaves very fast. D stays with memory, some light but obvious distress, Grant occasionally tells her to 'stay in body, and don’t change the memory.' Finally achieves CPL.
G: Great, now as you sit there, allow yourself to be pulled by a thread to an earlier memory; you said it brought up something even earlier.
D talks about an earlier lifetime, with a Viking memory.
G: I’m going to ask you to let that one go. Stay in the 7-11, just feel a thread pulling you to an earlier time. Go with the feeling, not with the story, just the body sensation. Just let an image come – may make no sense, just love yourself for being as you are – stay in body.
[Editor: Grant had her skip this memory because past-life episodes are almost always red herrings; they are one of the ways we avoid present-life traumas that are too threatening. For a therapist running a session, they are often an indicator of distress in the client. Note how Grant takes this into consideration and gives the student very simple instructions.]
(10-minute wait.) D finds memory of handsome man in church whom she avoids sitting near.
G: Okay, is this earlier than the 7-11? (D unsure)
G: Okay, we’ll run with it. Stay in body and love yourself.
D telling story, getting involved in rationalization and reframing.
G: That’s okay, we don’t want you to change anything, we want you just to accept the essence of love.
D talks some more (rationalization).
G: Okay, stay with it, stay in body.
D associates fear of being attractive to fear of attractive men
G: Yes, this work often involves layers. Stay with it, in body.
D: I’m drifting.
G: That’s okay, back to the church.
D: My heart’s pounding. He would never want me.
[Editor: Note how the student now speaks in terms of body sensations and emotions, and uses the present tense. This is a sign that she's now in body.]
G: That’s okay, stay there.
G: Perfect, we’re on the right track; stay with it.
D: I feel peace.
G: Good, let’s do the 3-minute rule. Stay there.
D: I can even hug him now…
G: I think I’m gonna throw away your training wheels! Stay there a bit longer… (Waits)
G: Okay, something earlier? (D nods yes) Give me a sentence or two. Is it earlier or later?
G: Okay, great, let’s run with it. You’ve gotten good at loving yourself and accepting, let’s do it again.
(SIDE NOTE FROM SESSION NOTE-TAKER: Questioned Grant – he’s not asking for phrases, why? Grant: Because it’s working, so the phrase is obviously flashing through her conscious mind and it’s taken care of. Asking specifically for the phrase is one way to keep things moving. BUT we know there’s an earlier memory; we’ll get there and may have to dig a bit for that one.)
D says this memory is also 24 years old, at work cocktail party with conspicuous dress. Grant says run it, just go to that moment and love self.
D: This one hurts, more imminent danger, I’m exposed.
G: Um-hmm, keep loving yourself, stay in body.
D: My leg hurts again.
G: Did it hurt then, at the party?
G: Just stay at the party, and tell me if the pain changes.
D flips to earlier memory at age 13 with cousin who felt
G: Okay, run it. Remember to keep your hand on your chest.
Before finishing, D shifts again to 11 year old, with guy on motorcycle following her as she walks. D in obvious distress, twists body.
[Editor: Note that it's perfectly all right to shift to an earlier memory before she's CPL on the 13-year-old episode. That's the beauty of the COEX phenomenon: D just needs to access the first memory in the stack and heal that completely. So as long as she's either healing or regressing further on the same string, all is well.]
G: Love yourself for feeling that way. I know you want to get away, but stay in body.
Finally reaches CPL in that memory.
G: Keep loving yourself and see if anything else comes up.
D: I’m scared to go earlier.
G: That’s part of it. There is a little girl who needs to be rescued, and only you can rescue her. We’re changing the past just by staying there.
Earlier memory comes up – 10 years old, boy in 4th grade, same
fear as original issue.
G: Perfect. Got an image? (D nods) Go in body and love yourself
D: I’m breaking out in a sweat when he comes around. (She talks, obviously is moving around in the memory like a motion picture)
G: Great, just stay with that image that you first saw.
Finish, to CPL.
D: I don’t know what comes next.
G: Okay, just love self and see what pops in—may be totally unexpected.
D: I’m scared of what’s next.
G: Okay, just remember, there’s a young girl who needs help. And you can love yourself for feeling scared right now, too.
D: That feeling scared, heart palpitations, I felt that all the
time with my father.
G: Okay, stay with that boy at 10 (from last memory) and just love yourself --- let it come up --- thread pulling you back --- may have nothing to do with your dad…
D hits 10 months old, father holding her.
[Editor: is the 'father' memory another red herring, going to a side issue, or is it relevant? Grant must have had a funny feeling about it, because he has D circle back and centre again into the emotions and body sensations of the previous incident. If the 'father' issue really is relevant it will show up again. Right now it appears to be part of a logical thread, not an emotional one.]
G: Did this memory just pop up or are you searching?
D: How do I know?
G: Did you stay with the 10-year-old girl and it popped up, or did you go looking?
D: I don’t know, I’ll look again.
G: Keep loving yourself, both there and here.
D: It won’t come, what do I do?
G: Well, you can wait it out, because part of you is loving yourself and feeling safe enough to let it come.
D getting frustrated – “I don’t know”
G: But you can feel it (the fear), right? I’m gonna play a little trick with you – go back in time – back – feel the ‘can’t breathe’ and heart palpitations – just following a thread back from that 10-year-old --- as you get closer you may find the symptoms get worse – keep going back ---- [Wait 5 minutes]
G: Put your hands in prayer and ask God to take you to that moment… [Waits again]
[Editor: here Grant is enlisting D's religious background, using terms she's familiar with to help her induce a more creative and less fearful state of consciousness in herself.]
G: Trick sometimes is to go up and up to the Creator -- a sea of light – then ask; you have to will that you want to go back to the trauma and you have to really mean it – you can’t say “I want to but not really…" It’s not like a sea, more like a limitless plane of light --- say “I want to heal this – I want to see…”
D does, Grant waits about 1 minute.
G: Okay, that should be enough, just love yourself now, go back to that 10-year-old girl and love yourself, see what comes.
D: Okay, this is a weird one (much louder voice)… first day of school, left on bus, don’t know where I am… it’s end of bus line and
driver made me get off…
G: Okay, just love self and that young girl for being very afraid, she’s little and doesn’t know what the future holds
D continues to talk, tell story; Grant lets her.
G: Okay, go back to the bus where you were first afraid (waits) Be in body, help that young girl, help her feel that terror…
D finishes, CPL.
G: Stay, love yourself, search for a thread.
D frustrated, angry that it won’t come. Grant tells story of a shaman, running from demons, ripped and torn from the back; shaman is told to turn and face the demons, finally does and found they have no power when you turn to face them.
G: See, if you just allow the fear to flow, there may not be any fear left. May just be anxiousness, like poking at a tooth. Let’s go for the tooth. Let’s invite in what’s under the anxiousness.
D: I’m afraid Daddy’s gonna kill me
G: Can you feel that fear? Love yourself. Got an image?
D visibly upset
G: Keep loving yourself, you’re facing your demons, let the fear come in, or whatever it is.
D: His rage is so strong – when I’m around him I feel panic and shortness of breath
G: Then feel that feeling, at the same time see if you can love him
D: I tried so hard!
G: Yes, you tried so hard… try something new now: just love him the same way you do the loving-yourself technique.
G: What you're trying to do is evoke the memory of where it started, and there’s a real good chance it’s not about your dad.
G: Let’s try to make the fear worse… As fear worsens, you may find there’s an image you’re pushing away, as fear comes up, you may find the image comes up.
(NOTE-TAKER'S NOTE: Either heighten a memory or just let the feeling get worse and worse, then notice that an image is coming up, and your fear gets bigger)
D finds crib memory
G: Is that a new memory or one we've already seen?
D: Haven’t had this one
G: Great, let’s run it….
[Editor: so were back to the father issue, but it's an earlier memory and this time we got there through emotions, not through logic; so we know for sure that we're not going on a tangent. The student's distress further confirms that we're in the area she was afraid to confront.]
D is in obvious distress
G: You’ll survive, we’re here, you’re doing great. Stay in body
G: Perfect, stay in body --- you’re doing great --- stay in body –
D: He’s thinking about killing me
G: You’re probably absolutely correct – stay in body
D: It has passed. he’s not thinking about it anymore
G: Go back to that moment of the worst fear --- you feel what he’s thinking --- freeze frame there – stay in body
D: Men want to hurt me…
[Editor: here it is, the core belief. Things start to shift now.]
D says she's CPL
G: Stay with this one a little longer to see if the baby gets large
D: Yes, like I’m filling top to bottom of crib
G: You’re so close to birth you’re starting to feel what a healed person feels like…
G: Okay, got another image?
D: Go for another??!
[Yes, why not stop there? Besides the fact, as you'll soon see, that the distress is not at zero, we haven't yet seen the physical injury that anchors the pattern. So we have to go yet earlier]
G: Stick with it, stay in the moment in crib with Dad there --- that moment
D: I guess I didn’t get to zero …
G: Then stay there, let’s stay and eliminate it --- the moment you can feel his thought about killing you.
D: Something’s coming at me --- can’t get away --- just like when he came at me --- why am I scared?
G: Stay with it --- excellent – stay in body, we’ll find out
D: It’s aggressive, gonna hurt me
G: Do you have an image? Where are you?
D: It’s here at my face – I’m not a body – but I’m ME!
G: I understand. (aside, says “egg or sperm or other”)
D: I can’t get away – just be here and feel it?
D: It’s gonna kill me…
G: Stay with that feeling, in body
D: But it’s gonna kill me!
G: I understand, stay in your body
D very heavy breathing, hand on chest, wait 5-10 minutes
D: Am I dead? Am I dead?
G: Stay with it – let the breath come as fast as it
D: I’m not dead. I'M NOT DEAD! It came inside me but I’m not dead. G: Good, stay with the feeling
D: And I don’t hurt and it doesn’t hurt
D: And I feel calm
D: And peace --- and light --- doesn’t seem like this thing that came inside me is there, it’s just me---
G: Great. Can you run that sequence again, stay in body?
D: Okay, it’s coming really fast…
G: Great, now slow-motion, staying in body…see it coming and slow it down … breathe …and heal as you go…
D: When it hit me, it hit me really hard
G: Where’d it hit?
D points to stomach
G: Great, need to feel that pain, when it hit you
[Here's the physical injury we're looking for, the one that anchors the whole trauma stack.]
D: I just feel at one, at peace, everything is fine
G: Yeah, do you feel large yet?
D shakes head no
G: Stay with it, there’s some sort of pain or injury where it hit
D: Okay, now with every breath I expand, it’s brighter, less dense… G: Let it happen, doing great…
D: Like now, I don’t have form, just way, way out
G: Good, stay with it
D: But I’m still ME--- this feels really good – this feels like love – weightlessness – I AM THE LIGHT! I AM THE LIGHT
D: Doesn’t feel like a physical state
G: This is a physical state but one of health, and it obeys physical laws, too
G: Can you hear the music?
D: (smiles) Yeah
G: What’s it sound like?
D: Medium tempo, lilting, makes me happy
G: Can you remember music in real life that sounds kind of like it?
D: No, not made by musical instruments, just really happy….that sounds like the song of nature – the mother Earth --- not like MY soul song
D: Oh, what a wonderful place to be --- I’ve been here before --- I remember this place – I’ve been here.
D: There’s a presence – body floating – I’m everywhere –gentle, effortless, easy, and it flows, it just flows! (D raises her arms up and out wide) --- I can be everywhere at once – all of it – and be anywhere I want -- Am I going to meet all kinds of entities? Of course I am! I just don’t experience them here like I do there… And I can visit anytime and explore---There are places I haven’t been that look familiar – colors are diffused because of the ethers and light – colors not bright like some of places I go to – this very soft and diffused – different dimension – everywhere at once – and seems like I’m moving – and when I get there I am already there – don’t you think that’s weird? – Your awareness is moving, just placing awareness at different places but have you’re being in all places at once --- cool (D stays here about 10 minutes, talking)
G: This is one step in the journey. We have some more work to stabilize this.
G: Go back to that memory of something coming toward you – when it’s all beautiful again, whenever you’re ready, just freeze-frame it. D: Bright color
G: Yes, just savor it – lots of dimensions – lots happening – let it all come
D: Now that I’m not afraid it doesn’t feel like aggressive, and doesn’t feel like death…. So am I having both experiences simultaneously – fearful and safe?
G: Do you feel fear now?
G: We’re changing the past, there is a new “what happened.”
D: This is not scary – it’s a very fluid dance --- music is beautiful – It’s an agreement! That this is to occur!
[Editor: Notice that this is not a reframing: it's the same conception event, but it happens without trauma. It feels like a completely different reality from the initial scene of terrifying entrapment and invasion. Now Grant will make sure that there's no trauma remaining.]
G: Go back to the moment of hitting, the impact. Stay there, if there's even a twinge of
discomfort, freeze-frame it, and go slowly forward…
D: No discomfort, and great ease
G: Have you noticed it’s going in you --- are you aware that your awareness is both places – both in YOU and in the thing going in you?
[Notice also that Grant doesn't label the experience as conception, but keeps using whatever terms the student used to describe the event. But everything fits.]
D checks: Yes! Feels like making love, and what’s coming into me is my beloved…
G: Go slowly here, there’s a lot of stuff happening here
D: Oh, now there’s sparkles of light – tastes like raspberries…
G: Does it feel like a royal union?
D: No, I don’t like royalty.
[Interesting, isn't it? It's not that there is trauma, it's just that the metaphor of 'royal wedding' doesn't fit for this particular student, probably because of her cultural background.]
G: Check the original feeling – how you feel about fear of being attractive?
D: It’s a long way back there – don’t know – how do I find out?
G: Can you imagine being attractive now?
D: Yes, CPL, scale is 0
End of session
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1.0 Jan 19, 2007: First draft.